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September 25th, 2013
So, your loved one has bought Grand Theft Auto 5. My condolences. Doing things together that involve more than bringing them food and sustenance to survive are now a thing of the past. Can you even remember what life was like a week ago? When the sun hit both your faces at the same time?
Sure, you tried to be supportive at first and sit with them while they played.
But after a while you just couldn’t take it anymore.
Eventually, you became jealous of the people on the sidewalks who were run over and get to leave.
Your loved one tries to include you and tell you about the cool radio function in the game.
They suggest you invite a friend over to sit with you while they play for hours on end.
The vampire noises they would make when you came in from the outside were cute at first, but now it’s just annoying.
It’s bad enough that you have to hear about the game constantly at home.
But now you have to hear about it at work too.
What’s a non-gamer to do? Here are 10 things to do while you’re loved ones play Grand Theft Auto 5.
1. Edumicate yourself with Drunk History and learn something about the world. Or not really.
2. Watch the Season 17 premiere of South Park tonight at 10E/7P on Much. It’s gonna be a lol a minute.
3. Learn about hot new artists like Zedd so that when your peeps come up for air you can catch them up on what’s happening in pop culture.
4. Practice your ugly cry and decide which celebrity you boo hoo most like.
5. Learn how to keep your friends safe online since they seem intent on murder and violence in their gamer lives.
6. Watch Conan every Monday to Thursday at 11E/8P on MUCH and check out his review of GTA 5 below since this is actually a fun way to watch someone play video games.
7. Tosh.0 episodes are online, which means you can watch other people whose lives will make you feel better about sitting next to someone addicted to GTA 5.
8. Make a South Park Vine, mmmmkay?
9. Like us on Facebook! It’s cool! We post funny stuff! And frankly, we’re a bit lonely sometimes.
10. Do you like music videos that are awesome? Is the sky blue? Is chocolate delicious? Are slippers the best ever?