10 Worst Ways To Behave At Concerts: How You’re Ruining It For Everyone
May 2nd, 2008
The other day I took a look at my positively RAMMED spring/summer concert calendar and my left nostril promptly flared to the size of a grapefruit. Concert season is a time for excitement, but at the same time it’s a time for frustration and cynicism. These days you have to brace yourself for an experience easily ruined by the fans themselves, who (from what I’ve seen) have become a rude and unruly lot entirely unaware of everyone else’s personal space. I now present you with ten rules that people blatantly disobey, or, ways that you’re ruining it for everyone else.
1. Recording the show or incessantly taking photos with your cell phone. I honestly don’t know why people do this. The photo quality of the majority of cell phones is terrible. I certainly didn’t pay $30-100 for my ticket just to watch it through a 3×2 inch screen with your extended arm as an obstruction, why did you? Are you honestly ever going to look at those photos again? And when you do, will you even be able to recognize the tiny speck that’s centre stage as Alex Turner of Arctic Monkeys? Will you be able to tell you’re at a Spice Girls reunion concert instead of the New Kids On the Block reunion concert? No. Ditto for people who record entire songs on a shitty camera for future uploading to YouTube. 90% of these videos are unwatchable. Check out this “sweet” four-and-a-half minute footage from a recent Yelle show that someone shot and uploaded for our viewing pleasure. In case you couldn’t make it out, the song Yelle’s performing in the clip is “Je Veux Te Voir”.
2. Waiting until the show has started to secure your spot in the front row. People line up outside general admission venues hours, sometimes even DAYS, before the show in order to snag that prime spot from which to enjoy a show that they’ve likely been waiting to see for much longer than you. In the Land of the Fair, It’s called waiting your f**king turn. So when one is rammed at the front, standing shoulder to shoulder with thousands of sweaty mouth breathers is uncomfortable enough without your conga line of friends charging through the crowd claiming, “Oh, my friend’s up there!”. It’s like when you’re late for a movie and making a huge production of finding a seat after the lights have gone down. It’s rude. And no, if you’ve scored a front row spot, you cannot ever leave to use the washroom or get a drink. You’ve sealed your fate - you’ll never make your way back.
“Hey! Can you hear this? It’s Pearl Jam. This is what you’re missing. Wish you were here. OMG do you hear? They’re playing Even Flow. Listen!!” *puts phone up to speaker*
3. Talking throughout the entire show. Speaking of rude: No one’s saying you have to stand there like a wax statue with your arms folded, intently concentrating on every lyric and chord. But we could do without the people who feel the need to constantly natter to their friends throughout the show, especially at smaller shows where the band can HEAR you not paying attention. There have even been shows where the band stopped playing to ask people to STFU. Embarrraaaaaassssing! It’s like people who talk in class…why are you even there? Go stand at the back near the bar if you want to chat.
4. Being over 6′4 and choosing to stand in front of the shortest person in the crowd. You can’t fault people for being tall (or too short), but why does the tallest person usually have a complete disregard for where they’re standing? If you see a 5′0 tall girl, don’t stand directly in front of her. Maybe kneel? Maybe lop off your legs at the shins? Or better yet, maybe just stand behind her? The same goes for girls who insist on sitting on their boyfriends’ shoulders for the duration of the show. The band might appreciate it when you show them your boobies, but the entire audience behind you will just think you’re a boob. Thanks for blocking my view, dink.
5. Continually crowd surfing or slam dancing even though it’s not that kind of show. You can only be dropped straight to the ground and then hoisted back up so many times by your fellow concert-goers before it gets exhausting for everyone involved. Some people are actually trying to enjoy themselves and not worry about getting an errant boot or elbow to the head while trying to gently guide you towards safety. Save it for Lollapalooza or some other monster UK festival. Ditto to people who mosh and slamdance at shows like Crystal Castles or Klaxons. Don’t make me show you the black eye I got at a seemingly “tame” Malajube show.
6. Being an unruly lout. Everyone knows all about the one dude who stands at the back of the venue and yells “WOOO! YES!!!” during the band’s between-song banter and at the start of every song, regardless of whether he can recognize it. What’s worse is when that dude brings along all of his rabblerousing buddies, and they get to the venue early to get their drink on. By the time the show starts they’re slurring their words and sloshing their drinks, bumping into people and stomping on toes. Get a hold of yourselves, people! Try to make it to the encore without blacking out, please.
7. Spastic dancing and general disregard for personal space. We know you wanna dance. And we WANT you to dance and have a good time. But take a moment to look around and size up the amount of space you have to work with and adjust your movement accordingly. If it’s Daft Punk and everyone’s going ballastic, go ahead and join in. If the crowd’s tightly packed and there’s no room to dance, bop along, maybe try to start a mini-dance party, but now’s not the time to start flipping your hair like a stripper, breakdancing or practising the Soulja Boy dance.
8. Holding up a sign or flag for the duration of the show. This practice is especially popular at any British indie band show. Suddenly everyone’s a raving fan of the Union Jack and has brought along a humongous silk flag to prove it. Not only that, but they want to make sure the band is aware of their nationalism. Then you have the people who write deeply personal messages for the band on bristolboard and hold it up in the hopes that the guitarist will fall in love with them. Nope - the only thing you’ll feel from behind is hate.
9. Standing at a seated venue. Look, I go to a lot of shows. Almost all of them are general admission/standing. I look forward to sitting at the 10% of venues that have seats. So for the love of god, please don’t LEAP out of your seat the moment the band hits the stage and remain standing for the entire set. Stand for a couple of songs and then sit back down. The domino effect is really strong on this one - it’s kind of hard to convince an entire audience to sit down, and once one row is up, others are sure to follow, meaning anyone who’s too tired or short to see anything while standing won’t get to see anything if they stay in their seats.
10. Waiting till the band plays their radio hit and then leaving . A lot of times the band comes to town early in their career and they already know that you only came to see them for one song. But humour them and feign some interest in the rest of their material - it’s all near and dear to them; it just happens that one of their songs is being pimped out by their label or the local radio station. Several tours later, they’re probably already sick of playing it anyway, and want you to latch onto something new. If they haven’t saved it for the encore, after which there would be a natural exit break, don’t start a mass exodus out of the venue. The other songs might crash and burn, but emergency exits should only be used in case of actual fire.
Anything else that’s ruining your live show experience that I’ve missed here?
Photograph Courtesy Getty Images
Posted on Friday, May 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 am by Kat and is filed under Concerts & Events.
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289 Responses to “10 Worst Ways To Behave At Concerts: How You’re Ruining It For Everyone”
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Those people who are commenting about “rules” and “whining too much” are really missing the point here. This list represents something way more important than concert etiquette. It represents what’s wrong with society now. That attitude of: “I’m more important than you” and “me having fun is way more important than anyone else having fun” and “my happiness is all that matters.”
I’m pretty sure when you “me..me..me” people are trying to enjoy something you like and someone screws it up by acting like a jackass, you don’t just sit and smile, saying, “Oh how nice. I’m glad he’s having fun and ruining my night.” You probably bitch and probably bitch pretty loudly about it. Think about other people for once in your life. I know that’s hard for a good majority of todays “younger generation” (I’m not a big fan of my generation..most are self-centered, spoiled ingrates) to understand, but maybe someday common courtesy and common sense will again be part of society. (Not that I’m holding my breath for it.)
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I agree with all of these except for the sitting/standing rule. It really depends on the type of show rather than whether the venue has seats or not. I saw Madonna’s Re-Invention tour and she continually commanded the audience throughout the show to stand up, yet the people behind me were absolutely FURIOUS that we wanted to stay standing and dance throughout the concert. Just because there are seats doesn’t mean you have to sit down.
If you go to hear Madonna and then you’re going to SIT through it, you should be drug up on the stage so Madonna can bitch slap you herself. Think of the type of show you are going to and what type of music will be played — that is a strong indication of whether you should/will be standing throughout regardless of whether chairs are provided for your lazy ass.
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Right on. Nothing like fans to turn a great show in to a pain in the ass.
Shut up, watch the band, listen. You can use your phone, chat with your friends, and get drunk really soon…as soon as the show ends. I didn’t come to hear you, I came to hear the band.
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Sitting at a concert is lame.
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get a grip
enjoy yourself and stop moaning
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Here’s one of my biggest peeves that you didn’t cover: fucking beach balls. If you’re at an all-day outdoor festival, or a Flaming Lips show(when they actually release hundreds of huge beach balls), it’s totally fine. But I went to a Rush concert at an arena… It was a sit-down style show with no room for dancing or fucking around, and some jackass decided to bring a beach ball. I watched as people got annoyed when the ball hit them in the back of the head while they were focused on the show, and hearing the occasional “slap” of someone’s hand on the ball got on my nerves. When it finally got close enough, I told my girlfriend to grab it. She handed it to me, and I puntured it with my car key and threw it on the ground. The people next to me cheered.
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Enjoyed the post and agree with it apart from 4. Being over 6′4… I’ve tried being considerate and do you know how far back we tall folk end up? So bollocks! First come first served. Not my fault I’m tall, just live with it.
My worst experience was being at Weller’s ‘Day at the races’ in Sheffield with some young pissed moron who felt the need to tell us all that Weller was the ‘Modfather’. Had weller heard him he’d probably have smacked him. As it was I had to do it
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I would like to add “knitting at concerts.” I’m serious. I know it’s DIY indie trendy right now. But if the band is on the stage, you should be focused on them and not multi-tasking.
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Ha, I really enjoyed reading this. I made a similar list myself, and after a while I have discovered it’s much better to a) go to small venues, b) stand directly in front of or behind the sound board (gives you a space so you can’t be pushed, plus the sound is great), and c) go alone, so your stupid date won’t be trying to put his arms around the entire time.
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Yes, things have changed. Hopefully they are changing back from the low point that was Woodstock II…
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Red, will you marry me?
..and I think Woodstock 3 was worse!
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#1 Concert Pet Peeve: Couples making out/groping each other in the front of a crowded show. I’m not big on PDA in general, but it’s super gross when the people are pressed up against me. Yuck.
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I find it interesting that the inconsiderate louts who don’t like these simple points of etiquette are only semi-literate.
In other words, they’re ill-mannered morons.
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Im 5 foot - who cares!
a concert is about the music, not about being able to stare at the band for the whole fucking thing.
i don’t blame tall people,
as long as i can hear it i’m happy.
ps the guy who said short people can “just grow taller” is obviously an ignorant bawbag.
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What a load of shit at least 70 per cent of the people that have commented have disagreed with these crazy rules in one way or another.If you dont like it stay at home and listen on the radio.Oh and the people complaining about the smoking?Why dont you fuck right off.They have already banned smoking in pubs here in the UK.We are losing our civil rights.Good knows why we cant just have a smoke room in the pubs,if your a none smoker stay out.Most pubs in the UK are suffering badly because the smoking ban has killed off there customers.It just isnt well publisiced.Now UK pubs smell either of the pissy toilets or somebodys farts.Every time someone cuts one it fuckin reeks makes me feel sick.At least the smoke used to mask this.We are a nanny state with no civil rights.Oh and to the people that complain about pot being smoked go fuck your selfs.You squares if you dont like getting stoned dont go.You should chip in and pay the people that are smoking reefer.After all your getting high on there supply.Fucking hell whats this country coming too?
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My two:
Booing the support band.
Throwing stuff at the band or onto stage.
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The problem with several of these rules is that they only work for certain kinds of shows.
I’m sorry, but when I go to a punkier show, I expect people to be pushing towards the front…Standing my ground while rocking out can be lots of fun. (And I’m a small(er) girl who has suffered numerous bruises, gropings, and lost articles due to my tenacity) But at most of the shows I’ve been to, there are usually a row of people protecting the very fronters…
Same with singing along… I wouldn’t want to do it with a tame indie concert - I could do that in my car… But with the punkier stuff, I’ve noticed that audience participation is often invited.
Sitting vs. Standing is another big genre/show specific thing…
(I do agree that too much “crowd surfing/aggressive dancing” can detract from any show. It’s usually fine when kept to the smaller “circle moshs” (as my friends and I call them) but can be scary when spread over the whole front part of the crowd, especially since it’s hard to anticipate which kind of crowd you’ll have and once you’re in, it’s difficult to get out.)
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Don’t know if this has been mentioned, but I curse the curse of everlasting death on people standing on the upper level of a multi-level venue who rain their beer/soda/whatever on the people below. It’s not funny, you drunken stupid louts. It’s sticky and disgusting. How would you like to be trying to enjoy the greatest show ever (Tool!) while continually distracted by an incoming spray from above? Maybe someday I’ll get crap tickets on purpose just so I can take my revenge. Only that won’t be beer spritzing down.
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i’d say to the author - you should just learn how to punch people.
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The whistlers. Those guys that know how to shreek so loudly it hurts your ears. Those guys drive me nuts…especially when they do it over, and over, and over, and over, and over…
Damn the whistlers!
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I bet you don’t have a good time at many concerts due to your constantly worrying about who’s going to hamper your enjoyment next. Get drunk.
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Perhaps everyone at Woodstock ‘99 paid, but should it have been ok to do whatever they wanted? Being considerate of others is a process of conscious thought, while being inconsiderate is a process of dominance and agression. Being considerate of others is not weakness although it is seen as such by a lot of popular culture these days. The social freedom of the sixties worked because that generation was raised with 50s values - even though those values were ‘rejected’, that generation would have been, and is, appalled by the youth of today. People used to not have to be told not to be assholes, there used to be a stygma associated with it - not glory. Cool used to be about being mellow and peaceful…
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cry me a fucking river and go to a britney spears concert why dont you.
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I get sick of people (usually my own friends, or - worse yet - their annoying girlfriends) trying to carry on a conversation with me while the band is on stage. Here’s an idea - why don’t you STFU and we’ll talk about this when the band we paid to see isn’t playing the songs we paid to hear?
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Honestly, the only one on the official list that I can agree with is #5. If you’re the only one moshing/crowdsurfing, chances are that you’re going to hurt someone. I’m lucky that I’m big enough to not get knocked over, but I’ve been to shows where the one guy trying to mosh ended up seriously injuring someone i.e. Imagine the 5′2″ girl getting smashed into a speaker by the one oblivious fuckstick throwing himself into everyone at ramming speed. Yeah, it gets bloody.
Although I agree with the comments about smoking at shows- nothing kills the experience like hacking up a lung.
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So, pretty much we should just stay home.
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You know what, I’m over 6′4″ and I am sick of short people being angry because we block their view. Unless concerts actually create “short” sections and “tall” sections, this is something you’re going to have to live with.
What I love is hearing about short people complaining that tall people go “in front” of them. Well if there’s 100,000 do you expect us to always stand all the way at the back even when our friends want to move forward. Whilst I’m sorry that I may block the view, that’s just life.
If I makes you feel any better, just feel happy you can sleep when flying coach whilst I sit pondering about how my femur touches both my seat and the one in front. Love going shoe shopping? Imagine only have one or two shoes in an entire store in your size. In short: get bent, everyone has their ups and downs.
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I’m really tall, and I don’t think I should suffer by having to stand way in the back so people can see around me. My eyes are also terrible, you see, so I can’t enjoy the show without being close. Ask nice and I’ll move over a bit, though. But other than that, this lists gets two thumbs up. I’ve had a ton of otherwise-awesome shows ruined for me by inconsiderate twats.
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you can’t tell me what to do you cunt.
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i feel like a lot of the people who think these “rules” are stupid are either younger or don’t go to a lot of shows. there is definitely a “show culture” and this list of 10 was written by someone who has seen a lot of shows and is not 18.
the worst for me is when people think they should be at the front because their friend is up there. i had a very very bad experience with this recently. a group of 10 drunk girls and a couple of boyfriends pushed their was to the front at a small show. they proceeded to make-out, push people and generally ruin the show for every other single person who was near them.
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You forgot one thing:
11. Making out with your boy-/girlfriend during the whole show. In the front row. With lots of drool and butt grabbing. Love is great but it can get really disturbing.
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Wow, and I thought I was the only one.
Thanks for validating my feelings about this topic.
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It’s as though you knew everyone of my thoughts about this subject! I can almost deal with all except… the chatting at a show. I’ll give a polite, “excuse me, can you lower your voice a little”, and of course that will only last for a few minutes, then I have to get ugly… “Excuse me, I didn’t pay to hear your ass talk all night!!!” That usually does the trick!
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its lovely to be considerate. treat people how you want to be treated. i want to have fun. i want others to have fun. this all seems a little too preachy for it to be fun.
you have some very valid points, but people who sit at rock concerts should just stay home. and what do you care when i leave?
chill out
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I WENT TO A CONCERT, BUT GREEDO WAS THERE!!!! LooL361
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um so yeah i went to a concert w seats. everyone stood and i sat if i got tired to rest to then stand up again and sing. i didnt complain if people were in front of me, i could still hear the music. as far as pot smoke goes, i would normally say i dont care i actually like it, but when i have a job interview coming up ill need to be drug tested for and ive been inhaling other peoples smoke for 3 hours, it kinda makes me sad
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If you really want to sit down, have a good view, personal space and no drinking, dancing, or tall people; pull a chair up to your computer and watch the video someone shot on their cell phone because then, just maybe you might have some fun vicariously.
Seriously, you might as well just listen to the record at home, what’s the point?
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lame — maybe you should stop worrying about what the person next to you is doing and just have a good time yourself — i find toronto shows to be sooo stuck up, and this is testament to that thought. just shut up — listen to the music — and shake your ass.
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Excellent points. The only one I would argue is about the tall person/short person. If you’re short, move in front of tall people. It’s not a tall person’s responsibility to go to the back of the venue.
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I agree with you on pretty much all of this except perhaps the sitting down in seats thing. I can understand where you’re coming from but I also understand wanting to stand up at a show. I suppose it depends on what kind of show it is. If it’s a more relaxed vibe then sitting may be alright.
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You missed out the worst one of all………..pissing in a pint pot and sharing it with the rest of the audience
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Tall people don’t live as long as us shorties so laugh at that when you see their heads sticking up over the crowd
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I agree with this whole list. But actually the problem is one of our own making. If you have a victim complex you end up interpreting other people’s actions as personal insults - when they’re actually just not as conscious of their environment as you/we are.
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I am glad I am not the only one. I love my concert season. I have many, several, tons of run ins with fans because of some of the things you listed.. I am short, so I always ask the tall guy if I can stand in front of him. The drunk ones I move away from, unless they get my personal space… (happened at a Manson concert) and I got him thrown out. I am a FAN of the BAND.. not of the crowd. Rawk On!
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I agree 100%—I’m at a show to have a good time, not to deal with rude, drunken,imbred retards who left thier sister/wife back at the project with thier welfare meal tickets.
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You covered it all, I think. I especially liked #3.
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Wow. This comment thread is full of total jerks. It’s pretty sad to see so many people getting defensive about their right to behave badly.
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RE: “2. Waiting until the show has started to secure your spot in the front row.”
Concerts are not orderly queues where people have to wait in line. Turning up to a concert days before it starts does not elevate you above everyone else who bought a ticket. If you desperately want to be able to secure a place at the front then go to concerts with assigned seating - for any concerts that don’t have assigned seating you can safely assume the band/organizers don’t think it’s necessary, so chill out.
This also applies to the short person tall person thing; we all bought a ticket and can stand where we like. Why should I care who’s behind me? The band is in the other direction. If I can move, so can anyone who thinks I’m in the way.
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One more to add: please DO NOT sing every song at the top of your lungs. We came to see the band perform, not hear some douche scream the lyrics to every song. YOU ARE NOT IN THE BAND AND NEVER WILL BE!