MuchMusic.com | Blog

Wow… that’s a lotta music there for you Ryan O. I guess I’m sorta excited for new Basement Jaxx stuff, and after months of delays they finally updated their site. It’s a cool little spot where you can check out their complete video library, as well as listen to new songs, which is always a good thing.

Ya know, the internet isn’t just for surfing, it’s also for getting free shit. Here’s a quickie list of things you can get for free just by filling out a few pieces of your vital information. Keep in mind that I didn’t actually try any of these out, so if you don’t get it for free, don’t come crying to me.

Everybody needs to clean their dentures, and hey, even if you don’t wear them, Renew denture cleaner would make a perfect gift for granny or gramps!

Upset tum tum? No worries! Click here to get your free sample of Pepcid Complete. And if you don’t have an upset stomach, you could tell your mom they’re bath bombs.

So you forgot to buy your cat a present for its birthday? No worries, because now you can get a free pouch of some kitty food!

Ladies this is for you! Don’t you hate buying your pantyhose in the store, only to have it run the first time you put it on? Well, now you can get a pair for free, so who cares if they run!

Want a tan without leaving your house or going out in the sun? It’s free, it’s not gonna cause skin damage, and it would be funny to wipe on your brother’s face while he was sleeping.

This has got to be the best free sample available on line! Who doesn’t like jelly beans? You’ve gotta act fast though - only 100 free samples are given every day.

Probably the lamest of all freebies, is this Harry Potter Map of England. The only reason this thing is free is because nobody would actually pay money for it.

Hell, even MuchMusic was getting in on the freebie act. Too bad our free pen offer is over already. Ha ha, sucka!

Je suis fini. Kelly… what are you giving away for free lately?

Well my young padwan, it takes years of pounding your cochlea (huh… I said cochlea) with the complete spectrum of sounds to build up enough tolerance to withstand a volume setting of eleven. And to answer the question at the front of everyone who sits around me’s mind… yesterday, as well as today, it’s Aphex Twin’s latest outing which bears the most honest title of any remix album in history… “26 Mixes for Cash”. I honestly cannot say enough good things about this album. One of the greatest things about Mr. James is that he has such a broad understanding of genres that he can make any music better. This album even includes a track… and stay with me on this one… that has Philip Glass conducting the American Composers Orchestra playing David Bowie’s “Heroes” (Glass’ version titled “Heroes Symphony”) which was then remixed by Aphex Twin to add more emotion and texture. Truly awe inspiring… especially if you listen to it in 5.1 surround! This of course is followed later on with his contributions to the last Nine Inch Nails album “The Fragile”… another favorite of mine.

I have been having a good music month. It started out when I picked up The Soundtrack Of Our Lives “Behind The Music”, which I highly recommend. Then I finally grabbed Sahara Hotnights “Jennie Bomb” which I’d heard quite some time ago, but never got around to grabbing. The world needs more records like this. I also picked up some Broken Social Scene which I’m quite impressed with and has been keeping me sockless of late. All in all, the albums mentioned here have been making the ol’ ears drool for the past month or so… and with a new release from Radiohead about two months away (their sixth due out June 9th titled “Hail to the Thief”… heh), Marilyn Manson’s “Grotesque Burlesque” on it’s way, both A Perfect Circle and Nine Inch Nails currently in the studio and a concert schedule for this city that is sure to keep me broke for at least the next six months… musically, this year’s shaping up pretty good… I won’t comment on the rest.

And with that I would like to ask sir Jar of Man what has his eyes and ears perked of late?

Well, Manny (if that is your real name)…I am still recovering from Friday’s events. I think, however, that I can safely say that my shin was definitely dug. It was all in a night’s work for the world’s foremost secret agent… That being yours truly. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. I, on the other hand, did.

You see, it is my business to know things. Things like Manny’s real name or Rick’s real age. It is important to know these things because you never can tell when your knowledge may become currency for the purposes of, say, paying off your Soviet guard to the tune of a year’s salary, enabling you to escape from a nameless Siberian gulag in the dead of night during a lunar eclipse. I know about these things…trust me.

Watching the Oscars last night from the comfort of my steel-reinforced concrete bunker somewhere in the South Pacific, I remembered one hazy night northwest of Saigon in ‘71 when Jonesy predicted the end of the world. I dug out my journal, in which I wrote: “All is quiet except for Jonesy’s laughter echoing through the jungle. I’d asked him: ‘Jonesy, are we gonna make it?’ And, as if in a trance, he said: ‘Yes, as long as Eminem doesn’t ever win an Oscar’.”

I couldn’t understand what he meant…until now.

I realize that this blog doesn’t make any sense, and you can thank your lucky stars for that, because cleanliness is next to godliness or something…hmm…methinks the free grog we had at the party on Friday is still affecting the little grey cells. Oh, Poirot, it is your gift; it is your curse.

I think I’ll end this rambling, nonsensical mess with some Consummate V’s.

VVVVVVVVVVVV

Maybe a blog by Matt will make more sense…

Right about now, how about some talk?

Watch MuchTalks tonight.

Right about now, how about some comic relief?

Have a laugh.

In other totally silly news, don’t you think there should be a limit to the number of times you’re vomited on?

First time was in high school. We were at this club and I felt something wet on my arm. Like rain. But we were inside. It was girl running past us, vomiting. Ick.

The second time was a few years ago at a Much holiday party. I was primping in the bathroom mirror of the restaurant we were at. I think I was applying lipstick or brushing my hair - something that involved me staring intently at the foreground (me in the mirror) and blurring out the background (the girl running past into a stall). I felt the girl kinda push me as she ran past but it wasn’t until I heard the noises coming out of the stall that I realized she was very, very ill. Slowly I turned sideways so I could look over my shoulder and catch the reflection of my back in the mirror. It was then I screamed, “Is that vomit on my back? GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”
The third time was a couple nights ago. My friend and I went to a few parties. On the way to our third party, in the cab, I saw him place his hands over his mouth. It was at this time that I threw myself against the window of the cab and screamed, “NOOOOOOO!” as he vomited all over himself. The rest of the night I could not sleep because all I could hear was him retching in the bathroom.

Now I guess I should clarify that it’s not like anyone has actually thrown up directly on me (babies aside, but they don’t count).

But just the fact that I have even had a drop of someone else’s vomit on me more than once is just too much for me to bear. Not just because it’s gross - but because I’m so easily nauseated. If you know me at all you know that I have such a weak stomach that even when people make fake vomiting noises (Ryan, Jarman - you jerks, I’m glaring at you) my stomach turns.

Actually just telling this story has now made me feel ill.

So, topic change.

The Streets! Original Pirate Material! Team Digital Correspondent and Floor Director Extraordinaire, Manny, was raving about this disc a couple months ago and I finally got around to checking it out. Loved it - picked up a copy for myself last week.

What’s up Manny?

Suggestions? Hmm… well it’s always good to try and stay as informed as possible to ensure making the best decisions for you and your family, but at times like these when information is integral in both the war and peace side of things it gets very difficult to separate fact from fiction. I try to read the latest via more international news wires like Reuters and UPI as they tend to give a very concise account of the news without adding regional opinions or dramatic rhetoric. It’s also worth noting that news wire services such as those I mentioned, are where the bulk of the media get their news from.

All of this international turmoil has coincided with my reading “Gandhi: An Autobiography; The Story of My Experiments with Truth” by Mohandas K. Gandhi. It has helped comfort me to read the story of a small man from very humble beginnings who changed the world and liberated his country all through active non-violent resistance and acts of civil disobedience… truly inspiring.

And last but not least, music always helps one cope. I’ve been absolutely enthralled with Fischerspooner’s debut “#1″. There is a limited edition version (which I picked up) that comes with a DVD featuring a documentary on the group, 4 videos, photo galleries as well as a bunch of projections that are used during this outrageous performance which has upwards of ten people on stage at a time essentially recreating their videos live! I’m sure it goes without saying that come April 8th, you can find me at the Guvernment. And with summer around the corner, as the Shouldice said, things are heating up as far as shows go. I’ll be making my best effort to see: Har Mar Superstar (03.23), The Soundtrack Of Our Lives (03.28), Sahara Hotnights (04.03), Nobukatzu Takemura (04.05) and Chris Clark (04.15). By the way, donations to be used towards tickets can be sent to… well, it was worth a try.

And with that… I bring you Sophia…

Quit lying Matt, we all know you got that Tinkerbell doll for yourself. Nobody’s here to judge you….shhhh….just let it go….

Man, I’m such an ass.

Indeed I did hit the Sparta show, it was the third time I’ve seen them in the past year or so, and I just can’t get enough. I was whambamming till 9pm ET, so I missed the HWM set (I’ve seen them twice before, but I can’t get enough of them either. I was sad.)

Tonight I’m going to see CKY show (do you think Jess Margera will be my boyfriend?), next week Zwan and Rocket From The Crypt. I can smell summer coming from all the shows that have been announced.

Of course talking about fun shows seems a bit redundant considering what is proposed to take place within the next 48 hours. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s got that nervous feeling in the pit of their stomach. I’ve been trying to keep myself informed but it’s not always easy.

Hey Ry, you got any suggestions?

It’s true, Jenn, that I loves the heavy. Metal that is. But I like to think that, due to my somewhat unorthodox upbringing as a member of a traveling circus, I’m a fan of all types of music. Allow me to explain.

My musical odyssey began at an early age when the lion midwife, Filbert, introduced me to the magical triumvirate of Rick Astley, Billy Ocean and Fine Young Cannibals. It was an epiphany: the voices in my head had gotten out of my dreams and into my car, or something.

Emboldened by elephant tranquilizers, I made it my mission to seek and destroy the barrier between me and my musical destiny. I began collecting all the “cassettes” (ancient analogue recording media) I could get my hands on, hoping one day to amass a sufficient amount to build a footbridge to Europe.

And one day, in the summer of 1987, I happened upon (literally, when the Lipizzaner I was riding bareback tripped on it) one record that would change my life: KISS’ Crazy Nights album. Mr. Malaka, the human cannonball, warned me sternly that I should never play it at too high a volume lest the Dark Lord Himself be summoned. “After all,” he said gravely, “KISS stands for ‘Knights In Satan’s Service’…” And then he threw his head back and laughed maniacally and my blood ran cold.

I summoned all my strength. “No!”, I yelled, throwing caution, and my clothes, to the wind. “I love it loud!” And I proceeded to crank it. To 11, mind you.

And that, dear readers, is the story of my life, slightly abridged.

Talking about turning it up to 11, I had a listen to some of Matt’s band’s tracks, and they “Bring It”, if you know what I mean. What do you say, Matt?

Thanks Brad! How was the Zellers party?
Anyone else get bored of the web from time to time? I mean, the last site I heard anyone talking about was the punk rock kittens page. Before that, peanut butter jelly time! Remember when everyday there was a stinky feet diaries or a disturbingauctions.com or a menwholooklikekennyrogers.com?
I just got a new pair of glasses this morning. I really like them. And I don’t like wearing glasses. Of course I wanted four eyes when I didn’t need them. Just like I wore a paperclip as a retainer before years of orthodontics.
Lookout weekend, here I come. Plans include catching up with friends, boarding, and digesting what’s going on in the world.

Justin - our friend in common tells me you’re a big metal head. So, I’m curious. What cloth banners are hangin’ on your bedroom walls?

Pleased to smeat you. So it’s like meat but not. Not lately. I’ve been thinking about eating a little heathier though. It’s easy to eat junkfood or not eat period. ‘Course, I haven’t been to the GP in about three years. The important thing is to find a good doctor. Thankfully I haven’t had any major illnesses the last couple of years. But I digress. I haven’t moved lately either. I’m pondering trying to find a neighbourhood to settle down in. Perhaps one that isn’t so downtown.

In business news, we’re looking to change up BradTV a little so if you gots any suggestions do it up. Listen good buddies, keep your shiny side up and your rubber side down. I see a Jenn stop up ahead.

10-4

Well Giant Jarman Head, life is good. Except for the Buffy cancellation (boo hoo) and the current state of my apartment - both of which suck. Absent from Tuesdays at work will be my wails, “Oh crap! I forgot to tape Buffy! Is anyone taping Buffy?!” just as Wednesdays will no longer hold the Buffy recaps that unintentional eavesdroppers simply can’t understand, “So, Dawn’s no longer the Key, she’s human? And Spike got his soul back so Buffy would fall for him? OK, and Anya’s not a demon, but she unwittingly had to sacrifice her demon buddy to her demon boss, D’Hoffryn, to get redemption. Oh well, none of that is really important now with the whole One thing, what with all the Potentials being under attack and the world ending. From beneath you it devours.” EXACTLY.

As for my apartment, it’s a disaster. I’m moving in a couple weeks and I just started the packing process. I have too much stuff. Everytime I move, I transport all of my university textbooks. It’s nice cause I love books, but it’s ridiculous cause they’re heavy and I don’t think I’ve cracked open “Unfulfilled Union: Canadian Federalism and National Unity” or “State Control: Criminal Justice Politics In Canada” since I graduated. I don’t think I even cracked them open when I was in school. Nevertheless, they will come with me.

What won’t come with me is the garbage bag full of shoes that has been in my closet (unopened) since my last move two years ago. Who even knows what fashion mishaps are sealed in there! Throw in years of unworn clothes that I’ve been hoarding and I’ve got loads to donate. Goodwill, here I come.

Last week (or the week before?) I was complaining that I’ve been wearing out my Interpol CD and was looking for the next record to obsess about. Well, I still haven’t found it, but did get something to tide me over. A friend gave me Guitar’s “Sunkissed” and I love it! If your copy of “Loveless” makes up the backbone of your record collection, you’ll like it too.

While not a vegetarian, I don’t like meat. I just don’t. So this weekend I purchased my first package of smeat. How excited was I when I made spaghetti sauce, with my ground soy, and it was actually good! I’m so grown up. Well, except for I made spaghetti sauce just to eat plain, cause I don’t really like spaghetti noodles either. Verdict: smeat good, but I do think it gave me bad dreams the other night.

Brad, you enjoyed any smeat lately?