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Holy crap, you guys. This. Week. Sucked.

This week in trash: we don’t care about Star Jones! Aaaand we’re done with that topic.

FREE LIL’ KIM! Oh, what? She’s getting out of jail early? Imagine that. The Queen Bee is set to be released just in time for Independence Day, where at first she will be a little hesitant, tip-toeing out into the open and peering into the sunlight. Then, she will explode in a frenzy of orgies and diamonds.

Mariah Carey has revealed that she only eats purple food three days a week because they are apparently the best foods to protect against aging. And also because grape kool-aid is sooooooooooooooooo good!!!

Dear Fall Out Boy and The Killers. Or maybe just Brandon Flowers - yeah, just him. Anyway, stfu. We are so done with your petit feud.

Jessica and Nick are about to seal their divorce for reals. Sorry to the half a person who still thought they had a chance. Wait, they were married? Haha. Aaaah. I find myself so funny.

Britney wants to move back to Louisiana, blah blah blah. I thought she already had a house there? Oh, and apparently she’s BFF with the mayor of Kentwood cause he seems to know everything about her.

Hey, Tommy Lee is a tough guy again! But Josh Duhamel, although forced to the floor in a tiff with Tommy, comes out on top with the burn of the week: “Tommy Lee, who cares?”

Ashlee Simpson is reported to have seriously considered and then turned down a $4 million offer from Playboy. Man, I woulda really liked to have seen that new nose in its full glory. PS: Smart move, Ashlee! No Playboy for you.

Tori Spelling drama to the extreme!

We were going to hire DMX as the spokesman for our “be a good person” campaign, but we changed our minds.

Happy CANADA DAY! Now where’s my fire crackers…

-Jessica Biel and Chris Evans split. AND SO DID THE BANANA, ahaha. Oh god, I’ve reached a new low.
-Pink dedicated a song to Britney Spears to show her support. In return, Britney farted. Did I just make a fart joke? I hate fart jokes.
-Black Eyed Peas get into brawl. Navy Beans intervene and break things up.
-Some stuff about Fergie’s solo album. She said sh*t.

Can’t … stop … laughing.

Source

Last Friday I went to see The Streets (with Lady Sov) and here’s a great review of his NYC show from The Modern Age that pretty much describes it to a tee. It was sick. He fed the audience booze. This guy knows how to PUT ON A SHOW. Damn.

I’m not sure why I held back from posting this precious nugget. It’s a new Go Fug Yourself Letter Of Truth (part Justin). And it’s solid gold. I mean, I pretty much read it every day to get that hit of giggle fits that I NEED. What really tickles my funny bone is the picture. OH MY GOD.

-Check out Britney’s photospread in Harper’s Bazaar. There’s a lotta belly, a coupla bottles of hair dye and a whole lotta trying too hard.
-Pamela Anderson: the next spokesperson of Airbrushing Inc.
-Tori Spelling’s mom is so pissed at her that she didn’t even call when her dad died. That, my friends, is w-r-o-n-g.
-Dude, Brad Pitt designed his own house. That man should stop showing off.
-LAME. Supposedly Brad’s parents bought Shiloh some new clothes and Angelina won’t dress her in them so the grandparents are mad. LAME. And, whatever. Like that’s a true story.

-Naomi Campbell only has to beat up one more assistant and she gets the next one free!
-Oh, how we loved you and your eyebrows, Kevin Richardson. Fare the well.
-Lindsay parties sooooooo hard that she can crack walnuts. And by walnuts I mean stylists and other aides who can’t keep up with her. Wussies!

Yes I bought the new Dashboard Album, you wanna fight about it?

Actually, its worse. I downloaded the leaked version because I couldn’t wait until the actual release date. And come on, what else can you listen to after you drank 18 Red Bull and unmentionables at the bar and you can’t sleep and it’s five in the morning and you just feel like being a bit emotional like sitting on your roof smoking a cigarette and looking back at your life, “Maaahhnn, Iffe had A good lifff. Man” head nod head nod “Yeeeaa, I lofff ma friends.”

So, yes I listen to Dashboard Confessional, and Yes maybe I have skipped home down wet sidewalks after a date, singing,

“Hands down this is best date I can ever remember, always remember the sound of your stereo, dim of the soft light, the scent of your hair that you twirl in your fingers and time on the clock!” (All while swinging around a lamp post)

And yes, maybe I do like kissing guys but…wait scratch that last one. But don’t pretend you weren’t at least a bit Emo-curious about Chris Carrabba’s latest opius.

Anyway, I’ve been listening to the “Dusk and Summer” for a week or so, and I hate to say it but it’s not very good. If he released this album I’d hate to hear the one he threw out. The only plus is there’s a track featuring the guy from the Counting Crows. Daniel Langlois did such a great job at producing it, you can actually hear Adam Duritz’s Suede tassels swinging back and forth in the background.

The one thing that’s strange about it though, is Chris has been singing about hearts for so long I think he’s started to actually study the biological organ, in a lot of the new songs he drops some pretty mad medical science. Here’s an excerpt:

It hurts so bad

To regulate this melancholic blood pressuuuuuuure!

Seriously, it’s kind of weird but I guess when you sing about one thing for thirty five years you start to struggle to find other words to use. Honestly I really gave this CD a chance, and there are a few promising tracks, but truthfully there really is something to be said about people that change their sound every album, or in this case, ever in their life, honestly - how many songs can you possibly write about your first kiss?

Hey guys, how’s it going? First I want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my last blog and for those of you who took the time to care about the environment and the site I showed - thank you all soooo much.

So since we talked last, A LOT! has happened. one of the majors was the MMVAs - it was unbelieveable. I can’t even begin to explain the amount of energy in the crazy crowd, I love that stuff, I love going to concerts where the fans are just so excited and having such a good time. It was nice to be a part of it. I met a lot of cool artists and big celebs, it’s crazy cuz they are just the same as you and I - well, with the exception of a few who think too highly of themselves haha. But it was awesome to be at such a big show, I hope everyone liked watching because we had a lot of fun putting it on for you. I don’t get to go to huge concerts as much now unless I’m working or I go when I have time off.

Speaking of which, I haven’t been on MOD lately because I was off for a few days due to working other shoots. BUT!!! On my time off I went to a concert in Oshawa, it was Theory of a Deadman, Mariana’s Trench, (both of which I met on the VJ Search), and Cauterize (buddies of mine). It was an absolutely amazing show, I brought a camera and hopefully we can get some of the footage on Much sometime. All three bands did an amazing job. Cauterize is a band I’ve been supporting for a long time and if you haven’t checked them out yet you had better get on that haha. And Mariana’s Trench is a band that I fell in love with when I first saw them during the VJ Search. They have just got their video on MuchMusic so go and request it, they are awesome! And Theory put on a great show too, even if you’re not a fan of their stuff, go see them live - great show. The crowd was awesome, there was a big turnout. Theory let me on their bus for a quick little fun interview and I talked to the other bands too, hopefully we can use the footage because they are all doing some cool stuff. Cauterize is going to be dropping an album this summer, watch for it, and they are trying to put a video together too. Another band I have just found is “war against amy”, check them out on Myspace.

But for now I should get back to work! Oh and I don’t have a personal Myspace, so the ones out there are fakes, if I ever do make one I’ll post it on here so you know it’s the real one. Oh one more question to answer - no I don’t have a girlfriend, I’m single at the moment. Thanks again guys! Sorry these things are always so long!

PS: I have an advanced copy of the Rise Against album from the record label - it’s awesome!!

OK, I know I have a tendency to exaggerate and be overly dramatic but I am NOT KIDDING this time - last night’s Keane show at the Mod Club was mind-numbingly amazing and hands down the best show I’ve seen in 2006 so far - and that’s saying a lot, considering I’ve been blessed to see my three favourite bands on earth in the last 2 months alone. Man, what a great year!

But back to Keane and how I nearly lost my mind last night.

I’ve been a Keane fan since the early beginnings, when all I had to listen to was an archived in-studio session they did for U.S. radio station KCRW. When I first saw them at the Mod Club in 2004, they blew me away. So when I heard at the last minute that they were doing a ’secret’ show at the Mod Club again, I made it my mission to be there. Unfortunately no one else had forgotten how great the combination of Keane + Mod Club’s sound was, and tickets sold out in a couple of minutes! In the end I was able to get to the show after all and I’m so glad I did!

The amount of energy and passion that the guys put into every single show is incredible - as you can see from the pic, they were completely soaked through by the end of the show (by the halfway point, even, I’d say). It was as though they had jumped into a pool with their clothes on. That’s the result of leaping and writhing across the stage for an hour and a half. Tom’s voice has never sounded better. Tim’s genius at the keyboards can’t even be described - he jumps and pounds at the keys like you wouldn’t believe. And Richard looks like he’s going to shoot through the roof; he’s hitting the drums with so much intensity.

And the crowd - wow, the crowd was loving every minute. I’ve never been to a show with such a strong singalong - EVERYONE knew every lyric and was singing it back to Tom. He could have stopped singing and we would have finished the job for him. From the front row, the view was incredible; Tom singing to each of us one by one and really connecting with the fans. What an incredible experience!

Stay tuned for my one-on-one interview with Tim Rice-Oxley in the next few days, wherein we discuss taking new direction, organic beer & channeling Eminem as inspiration on a new song!

* Photo by Leah on the Keane message boards.