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September 23rd, 2013
The 2013 Emmys went down last night and from the red carpet to the opening monologue to the surprising wins and speeches, we learned a lot. Here’s everything that we learned during the four hour show (red carpet counts, y’all) in 21 points.
21. Alaska has a mob and Jewel is the boss. I’m pretty sure she just sealed the fate of an over-zealous photographer.
20. Contrary to what you may have thought, Judah Friedlander does know how to dress for black tie occasions, thank you very much.
19. HBO cuts costs by demanding their actors use advertising as their dresses rather than buy designer frocks. Lena Dunham is a floating head in this picture.
18. Anna Faris and Evan Peters have the same hairdresser.
17. Heidi Klum was literally attacked by her dress.
16. Aaron Paul’s wife is still experiencing newlywed bliss and can get over him screaming in her face.
15. This is likely because he treats her like a shrine.
14. Claire Danes and Lena Dunham are friends and none of us knew that.
13. Blossom got hot.
12. Vada Sultenfuss got hot.
11. Aubrey Plaza is hot, but needs to fire her stylist.
10. Kevin Spacey warned everyone on the red carpet that he would be stealing the show.
9. And then he stole the show.
8. He’s the new Jack Nicholson, except he’s actually nominated for an award and wants none of your crap.
7. Jimmy Fallon can tap dance.
6. Conan O’Brien can enter a room like a boss (not new information, we just love him).
5. Merrit Weaver had the best speech of the night when she said nothing after winning for playing a character that never stops talking.
4. Julia Louis Dreyfuss had the second best speech of the night. Shout outs to
Buster Tony Hale.
3. This was the best part of Neil Patrick Harris hosting the Emmys.
2. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler should host everything.
1. But we all knew that already.
The Emmy photobomber thanks you for your time.