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February 11th, 2014
Over the years, millions of Valentine’s Day cards have been handed out on February 14. Some are sweet, declaring one’s true feelings for their crush, while others get right to the point. You know what I mean. Giggity. But in the history of this day of love, only one Valentine’s Day card can be counted as the greatest Valentine’s Day card ever. That card is courtesy of one Lisa Simpson, age 8.
Airing during the fourth season of The Simpsons, the episode titled I Love Lisa shows the dangers of Valentine’s Day when a broken-hearted Ralph finds himself the only student in Ms. Hoover’s class to not receive a Valentine’s Day card. Ugh, poor Ralphie. Seeing her friend feeling down, Lisa gifts Ralph with the now-famous I Choo Choo Choose You card, which saves Ralph’s Valentine’s Day.
Sure, things go from good to bad for Ralph when he reads too far into Lisa’s card, but it all works out in the end. Of course, this is because I Choo Choo Choose You is the greatest Valentine’s Day card ever. Let’s list the reasons, shall we?
1. The card reads I Choo Choo Choose You and has a picture of a train. The end. In case that’s not a good enough reason for you to realize the greatest of this Valentine’s Day card, we can keep going.
2. This card can make someone fall so deep in love with you that you can actually pinpoint the moment their heart explodes when you end things with them. That’s power.
3. It’s spawned a myriad of products. I Choo Choo Choose You sweater? Check.
Metal Business Card? Check.
4. It can be a sweet card to gift to a friend. On the inside you can follow up I Choo Choo Choose You with “to be a great buddy” or “to win the award for friend of the year!”
5. Or it can be a saucy card. Example, I Choo Choo Choose You…to get in my bed.
6. It’s a great way to weed out people in your life. Don’t recognize this card from The Simpsons? I no longer recognize our relationship. Let’s not bee friends.
Watch The Simpsons weekdays at 5E/2P on Much.
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