We accept your apology, but…
Don’t believe us, just watch!
“I hate Bevers.”
Test your skills!
October 12th, 2012
Lana Del Rey has released a new video for Ride and it’s more like a ten-minute epic short film as opposed to a music video. For those too lazy to watch it the whole thing – let’s face it, we’re all a bit lazy nowadays – we sat here and did it for you. Here’s are some study notes in case friends quiz you on it (not that friends normally do that, but hey, you never know).
00:01: “RIDE” – just in case you didn’t know the name of the song you’re about to listen to. And by about, we mean in three minutes.
00:10: Enter Lana Del Rey, swinging around on a tire…in the middle of the desert. Someone explain the artistic metaphor behind this, please.
00:33: Enter Lana Del Rey monologue about her life. As her babyish voice narrates over various clips of her and her biker men, she says profound lines like “I was a singer. Not a very popular one” and “There’s no use in talking to people who have a home, they have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people.” Other clips include her slummin’ it on the streets, wondering around and some random clip of her back in the desert with a gun. What?
03:27: The song starts! Del Rey walks onstage at some fancy theatre, in a sparkly white dress, with her signature pout.
03:57: Some biker guy combs her hair in a motel room.
04:10: Obligatory Lana Del Rey wrapped in an American flag shot. Plenty more of this to come.
04:20: Hanging out at an arcade with her biker hubby and smoking. She lies down on the pinball machine, blocking his view of the game. “Excuse me, sweetie, I CAN’T SEE.”
04:50: Chillin’ on a balcony in a white dress. Uh oh, someone doesn’t look happy…Oh wait, she never looks happy.
05:05: The biker gang meets up in the forest to hang out and play with guns. Cool. #notgonnamesswiththat (But also, cue opening scene of Lady Gaga’s Judas — rip off?)
05:38: Biker’s still combing her hair. Girl’s got a lot of hair to comb.
05:48: Oh, he’s done combing her hair! Time to dance!
06:00: She gets extra pouty as she sings, “Don’t leave me now.”
06:20: Smoke break at the gas station.
06:35: She gets picked up by her biker gang at the gas station.
06:44: Time to set some things on fire and bike around – Friday night hangouts, WOO!
07:05: She has a gun (and is wearing a Native American headdress?!)!!
07:25: This video is brought to you by Jack Daniels.
08:08: The song ends. We return to her on a swing in the dessert…what?
08:15: Credits! Oh, it’s done!
08:20: Oh…it’s not done. She’s crawling around in the desert, making out with that biker guy – y’know, the usual.
09:45: It’s done. For real.
Watch the entire video below:Tweet