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January 29th, 2014
Apparently the Super Bowl is happening this Sunday and it reminded me how little I know about football. To be honest, I’m more of a baseball kinda girl. Even though I consider dusting my apartment more interesting than football, I still go to Super Bowl parties every year. One of my strengths during these parties is totally playing it cool and acting like I know all about the game. So, if you’re like me, here’s my clueless guide to the Super Bowl. Follow these steps and you’ll look like the coolest person at your Super Bowl party. Trust me.
The only way to start this off is with an actual Clueless GIF.
Step 1: Know the definition of football.
A form of team game played in North America with an oval ball on a field marked out as a gridiron.
Step 2: Google the two teams who made it to the Super Bowl
I’ll help you out on this one. Seattle Seahawks vs. Denver Broncos
Step 3: Google the names of each quarterback. I hear those positions are pretty important.
I’ll save you a Google search and help you out again. Russell Wilson and Peyton Manning.
Step 4: Bring snacks to your Super Bowl party. May I suggest Ketchup Doritos?
or Jalapeno Cheetos.
or fried chicken.
Step 5: And if you’re really feeling motivated, go all out and make a snack stadium.
Step 6: Learn everything you need to know about football by watching all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights. FYI it was recently added to Canadian Netflix and I’m already on season 4.
Step 7: Learn a few football terms. Like this one:
Step 8: People will probably be drinking beer. So you should do the same.
Step 9: And maybe have a cup of coffee because it’s a loooooong game.
Step 10: Cheer, heckle and have fun!
That’s all, folks. We did it!