A Healthy Summer Indoors Watching TV

August 5th, 2004

i couldn’t agree more with jason’s assessment of the village. i figured out the “big twist” in the first 10 minutes. i’d also like to point out that i wrote a very similar short story with the same “twist” for a grade 4 project. yes grade 4. and i am pretty sure i just ripped off my story from an episode of gilligan’s island. so yes, the village = gilligan’s island. but that ron howard looks really pretty with long hair and make-up!

since movies are disappointing me this summer, and the sun is not kind to my pasty white skin, i have spent a healthy summer indoors watching tv. here are some observations:

CANADIAN IDOl: this show is a train wreck! i can’t look away. what is up with sass? she looks horrible! i have decided to spread a rumour that she is into the old glug glug if you know what i mean. i guess i would drink too if i had to sit through the world’s worst karaoke competition. where did they find these people? i think that ben mulrooney looks exactly like an inflatable sex doll (but with less personality). look at him! it’s true! and the judges are all over the place. there’s no consistency like on american idol. these judges’ opinions are totally interchangeable and mixed for every performer.
judge a: that was horrid. you have no talent.
judge b: you are a musical superstar. great work.
judge c: you just didn’t show us what you’re made of.
judge d: you took that song and made it your own. you are truly wonderful.
contestant: i’m confused.
audience: we’re confused!
justin: i wish i would have watched last comic standing.

BIG BROTHER 5: i love project DNA. love it!!!! i can’t wait for those twins to strut in together. is that tonight? oh i hope it’s tonight! once the twins come in i just know julie chen will have more project DNA surprises for us…
julie chen: the project DNA twists keep on coming! marvin, you are holly’s biological father. and jase, diane, i regret to inform you that you are conjoined twins and need risky surgery to be separated. scott, you are chinese.
i love big brother!

MUCHMUSIC: oh look! it’s the lies pizza commercial!!! i love pizza! wait this isn’t a commercial at all — amy lee! why are you so happy to hold up that pizza? you’re right there IS nothing better than a good lie… wait for it… here comes the frown — you’re not happy at all! you’re sad! you were PRETENDING to be happy! you were lying — thus the name of the pizza company! oh you! that crazy amy lee. oh wait, now you’re not pretty anymore. your make-up looks terrible! you looked nicer in the pizza commercial. you look pretty in that cola commercial too! why don’t you just make yourself pretty like that all the time? that japanese show looks like fun. you should move to japan where you are happy. why do you hate the blonde rubber ladies? they’re just excited to meet you. oh no! you’re in the tub under water just like britney spears but way less pretty. i want pizza now.