June 2nd, 2014
We’re just ten days out from the World Cup in Brazil and excitement is building but it’s looking like the sound of the game could be in jeopardy! If you’re a fan of soccer, you’ll remember the buzzing sound that swept the planet at the last World Cup. The Vuvuzela – the horn that sounded like a swarm of angry bees that were going to attack you if you dared to change the channel to Golden Girls mid-game.
Earlier this year, Brazil presented their own instrument to carry the Vuvuzela torch. It’s called the Caxirola.
One small hiccup, after football fans started throwing them on the field at a test match, the Brazilian government and FIFA are having second thoughts about allowing the instrument at the cup.
Here is a list of the items we think would be both safer and just as entertaining should the Caxirola gets the boot…
C’mon guys! Shout “Dale” (pronounced “Doll-Eh”) like “Mr. Worldwide” Pitbull – He’s already worked his way into every song ever created (including the Official World Cup song), so why not hang Mr. 305 in a cage over the stadium and shake him every time we need him to sing?! Thoughts?
Forget the air horn! How about the Train horn?! The train horn takes sound where the air horn never could. And let’s face it few things are more hilarious than people jumping out of their skin with fright when they think they’re about to get run over by a locomotive.
An actual giant hornet’s nest – sounds the same as the vuvuzela, and much more fun to watch when they attack the spectators! Perhaps we could train them to attack the unruly?! [insert Mr. Burns impression here] Yes, attack the unruly!
The Hockey Night in Canada theme song , it’s such an uplifting anthem, plus everyone loves Canada. It’s also a nice way to remind them that hockey is a far superior sport.
Armpit Farts. It’s where the perfect amount of pit sweat meets the melodic sounds of dying seals. Imagine 100,000 people armpit farting at once! Just one thing, it might not smell too nice on the pitch. Small price to pay to support your country, if you ask us.
By Sandra BenainTweet