And I’m Spent

June 9th, 2004

Austin Powers is a fine movie. As far as I?m concerned, it should be included on lists of the all time greatest movies such as Citizen Kane, The Godfather and Bring It On. The first Austin Powers is a far superior film compared to ‘The Spy Who Shagged Me’ and ‘Goldmember.’ While the latter two have their redeeming qualities, ‘International Man Of Mystery’ is definitely the winner.

I can pretty much recite the entire movie, which is kinda sad I guess. What?s even worse is that 53.7 percent of my vocabulary is movie/TV quotes. With that in mind, I present to you my favorite lines from ‘Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.’ Forget your run-of-the-mill “do I make you horny?” and “Groovy, baby” – these represent quality workmanship.

6. “What?s your point, Vanessa?”?

This follows Vanessa Kensington?s rant about not doing it with Austin even if they were the last two people on earth and had to procreate to save civilization. I?ve always wanted to meet a Vanessa, just so I could say this to her.

5. “Danger?s my middle name.”?

No, it?s not original. But the way Austin says it makes the line a legend. I?m seriously planning to name my firstborn (Blank) Danger Heisler.

4. “Throw me a frickin? bone here. I?m the boss. Need the info.”

Dr. Evil sweats hilarity. Use this line in real life when your actual boss is being mean. If you are, in fact, an actual boss, use it on your interns.

3. “Yes…Yes…Yes…NO! NO! NO! And I?m spent.”

The intensity displayed in this situation, when Austin is taking pictures of blueprints, is breathtaking. I cry every time.

2. “We have a factory in Chicago, that makes miniature models. Of factories.”

This classic line by Number Two is often missed and/or overlooked. The delivery, the ridiculousness of it all?genius.

1. TIE: “My name is Richie Cunningham and this is my wife, Oprah.”? AND “This is my Italian Confidential Secretary. Her name is Alotta. Alotta Fagina.”?

I always introduce myself and my ball ?n chain like this. You can?t go wrong. Plus, Alotta Fagina is a great fake name to use when I?m hiding from the paparazzi at hotels.

Speaking of funny things, check out this trailer for Napoleon Dynamite! Heehee…

Aaand I?m spent.