Apple Of Their Eye

May 24th, 2004

So Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow welcomed a little bundle of joy into the world last week. Actually, at 9 pounds 11 ounces she wasn?t exactly little, but I digress.  In case you didn?t catch the baby?s name, this might clue you in.

Yes, that is an apple.  They named their first born child APPLE.  APPLE Blythe Allison Martin. 

WTF? 

What could possibly possess two seemingly bright, level-headed people to give their baby the worst name in the world?  How much can a person really love apples? Maybe it?s a shout-out to the Beatles? Or maybe an explanation can found in these lines?

All I can say is, good luck little Apple.  I?ll commend you if you make it to age five without a name change.

While we?re on the subject of names, here comes a rant of sorts. 

I don?t have the most common name in the world but it also isn?t the strangest one out there (as Chris and Gwyneth have proven).  Yet you wouldn?t believe just how OFTEN my name gets utterly butchered. 

The latest:  I picked up the phone yesterday to hear a telemarketer ask for ANNUTELLA.  As if having to talk to a telemarketer on my afternoon off wasn?t bad enough, they confused me with a chocolate hazelnut spread.  The sad thing is, that?s not even the first time someone inexplicably turned my name into a food product. 

Back when I worked in telephone sales, a customer from Texas called back looking for ENCHILADA.  Considering the two words don?t sound even remotely similar, it begs me to ask just how stupid people really are.  I couldn?t live that one down for months. 

Now some of my co-workers have christened me AUNT JEMIMA.  They actually banded together and that was the best they could come up with.  One of them also calls me NELLA all the time, which is the most dreaded nickname of them all.  Seriously, it?s like nails on the blackboard.  Stop it already Rico!!!

I can?t even find my name in a search of 11,000+ baby names.

*sigh*

Looks like baby Apple and I have something in common.

Posted on Monday, May 24th, 2004 at 3:19 pm by antonella and is filed under Blog.

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