We just finished a contest on InsideMuch where we gave away Going The Distance DVDs to people who could come up with the best hitchhiking signs. Imagine if you saw these on the side of highway?

Kelly from Edmonton, AB
"Hi, Im Brad Pitt..."

Philip from Victoria, BC
"Guy wanting to get ride to destination. Please help."

Ryley from Fortmacmurray, AB
"Hook me up with a ride! I make a damn good pie!"

Dan from Orleans, ON
"My name aint Ebert so this thumbs not up to rate a movie, give me a ride!

Robert from Delta BC
"Anywhere?" (While wearing a fake hook hand, a patch over one eye, a bad beard,
a peg leg and a trench coat. Then I'd watch people get freaked out.)

Lucy from Nanaimo, BC
"Family was killed by Ninjas, I need a ride closer to revenge!"

Brenda from Sudbury, ON
"I can cook salmon on your radiator as we travel..."

Ashley from Abbotsford,BC
"I'm not wearing any underwear...the penguins stole it."

It's me again, and if you're sick of me, I don't blame you. But in response to item number three in Sophia's entry (re: Leonardo's distracting non-Gisele seat-filler), I would like to say the following:

As a former Leo fanatic (pre-Titanic, and I lamely have the scrapbooks to prove it), I am almost certain that the woman in question is Leonardo's mother Irmeline. She had attended the Oscars with him previously, when he was nominated for "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" and would surely want to be there to see her son lose again. Although Gisele was perfect for the red carpet photos, Leo is a mama's boy and would not get away with attending such festivities sans-Irmeline.

I may be completely wrong, for this is simply an educated guess and I am running on a grade 5 education.

Last night's show left me with usual morning-after regrets. Why do I watch, why? But it also left me with a few other questions.

Why wasn't Chris Rock funnier? He is funny. So, what the heck? I know, I expect too much.

Why didn't the show producers/floor directors or what-nots make sure that when they were giving away those awards in the middle of the audience, that there weren't EMPTY seats behind the presenter? It's the frickin Academy Awards. You're giving away Oscars in the middle of the audience and no one has made sure that those seats in the back of the shot are filled? This, I could not believe.

Who is the seat-filler wrangler that chose the lady in the black & white dress to sit beside Leo when Gisele was gawd-knows-where? She was very distracting. All I could do was think, where is Gisele? This lady is clearly a seat-filler and not a companion of Leo's!

Did you see that one award (can't remember which one) where the seat fillers in the front row got up to give a standing ovation? That was great.

Why didn't they let Jorge Drexler (the guy who sang the Motorcycle Diaries song), actually sing during the show? Why Antonio Banderas? During Antonio's performance they cut to Jorge, and he was clearly furious, also thinking to himself, why am I not performing this song? But luckily sweet revenge was his. He won, and then sang his acceptance. Good for him.

And, the big question: does Penelope Cruz have a person on staff to tend to her bangs? During the red carpet traipsing, both Cruz and the HOTTT Salma Hayek (seriously, she is hot) were both sporting the exact same up-do, with bangs parted in the middle framing their foreheads. Yet when they appeared on stage together during the show, all of a sudden Penelope's bangs were swept to the side with what looked like an handful of pomade. What happened in the time between her appearance on the red carpet and the time backstage where she would've been waiting with Salma to present? Was there a bang style catfight, with Salma emerging victorious and Penelope's bang staff quickly adjusting her do? I like to think so.

So Ashlee Simpson's SNL incident has been forgiven in San Jose, where her recent live concert got a good review in the local paper. So, congratulations Ashlee, for winning over San Jose where everyone is already deaf. No, just kidding - I don't know anything about San Jose. I'm thinking about Ft Lauderdale.

My love affair is with Sundays. By Friday, I'm exhausted. Saturday it's errands. But Sunday! Sunday is made for sleeping in, going to church, and watching tv. And this Sunday it's all about The Oscars AND Chris Rock. I can't wait to see what he has in store. He is so inspiring. When someone is THAT good at what he/she does, it makes me want to stay focused, work harder, and get better at what it is I'm trying to do.

Hot rumour (or maybe more than a rumour...) is that Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit's lead whiner, has had HIS Sidekick account hacked.

And there might be unfortunate photos and/or videos floating around to prove it.

Google it yourself if you don't believe us...

J.Lo has come clean to People magazine confirming her marriage to Marc Anthony, saying, "I mean, come on, everyone knows. It's not a secret." And then adding, "Isn't he creepy? SAVE ME!!!" In other news, he calls her Lola and she calls him Papi. It's like this thing they have.

With the loss of Hunter S. Thompson (RIP, Good Doctor) and blink-182's hiatus, we figured we were about due for some fun news for a change.

And we got it in the form of this. It's a t-shirt marking the end of an era - Brian "Head" Welch, guitarist for nu-metal kingpins Korn, has left the band to dedicate his life to religion. We wish him well, of course, but we think that shirt is mad funny.

Hallelujah.

As I sucked back a piece of toast and spent some QT with ole Reeg and Kell this morn, they mentioned that following in the footsteps of Superman, Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk...a Wonder Woman flick is in the worx. Although I'm a bit too young to remember the TV series and I never really bought the comic, I've always been a fan of WW. I like what she's putting out there. Every year, without fail, one of my friends gets me some kind of Wonder Woman paraphernalia (belt buckle, poster, address book, magnet, underoos...). PageSix is reporting that if they go for an older WW, Kim Basinger is being considered for the role and if they go younger Jessica Biehl's name has been tossed around. Frankly, I'm not happy with either of those choices, so I have a few suggestions:

Angelina Jolie - she already proved she can kick ass with the Tomb Raider flicks and don't act like you haven't already fantasized about her in a WW cape. We'll consult with Maddox and let you know if Mommy is into it.

Jennifer Connelly - okay, so maybe she's too much of serious actor since she won the Oscar, but she's got some superhero flick redeeming to do after that piece of Hulk she was in a few years ago.

Halle Berry - haha, just kidding.

Summer from the O.C. - remember when she totally rocked Cohen's world by showing up in the WW costume last season? Now he's drawing her in all-new super hero garb. Actually scratch that, she's waaaaay too whiney to be a WW. (Don't even think about suggesting Marisa...)

Kate Beckinsale - she's getting ready to kick ass onscreen with Underworld: Evolution - but would her husband (action-flick director Len Wiseman) get all jealous?

Ashlee Simpson - haha, just kidding.

Lauren Graham - Would have been cool...except that I just found out she's in The Pacifier with Vin Diesel. Now she's dead to me.

Jennifer Hollett - She totally rocked the WW styles in our Wonder Women special and has saved the day in my world a whole buncha times.

Jessica Alba - between Sin City (watch the trailer - this flick looks so cool!) and being The Invisible Woman in Fantastic Four, she's got comic-flick overload.

Jennifer Garner - who knows? Maybe the 14 people who went to see Elektra will come see the flick. (btw - am I the only one who thinks she looks like a volleyball player? I just know if I toss a v-ball her way she'll slam out a wicked spike.)

P.S. if you find yourself near a TV at 2am after a very late Friday night, flip around for the Super Friends cartoon. WonderWoman is in it, it's old school and it's rad.

If the world of Hollywood gossip was built like the earth, currently Jessica Simpson would be the oceans, Lindsay Lohan would be the tectonic plates, Britney Spears would be the liquid hot magma and Paris Hilton would be the magnetic core. Because she is a BLACK HOLE of unfortunate gossipy events. Over the weekend, her T-Mobile Sidekick was hacked, releasing personal photographs and her entire contact list. Paris' photo collection is not limited to adorable pictures of Tinkerbell, no. Not that you'd be surprised about the nudie pics and girl-on-girl make-out session. Also included in this limited edition package are personal phone numbers for the ubiqutous Eminem, Xtina, Lindsay Lohan, Avril Lavigne, Egplant Dyke Ass [sic] and much, much more. Don't bother calling Adam Levine or Usher though, cause I already tried and the numbers are way disconnected.

This stuff is all over the 'net right now. Like Gawker, who provide pics & text and warm memories of Sidekicks past.

It's so cute when old people think they've found something really funny. When they show it to you, it's even funnier because you realize you laughed at it about 6 months before they did.

Case in point - NBC's "Today" show. Yesterday, they showed the oh-so-hilarious-and-oh-so-over video of that kid singing the really bad Romanian euro-trash dance song.

Yes, it was funny. Six months ago.

Watching reruns of "Full House" feels more current than seeing this clip again. Cripes, Mary-Kate and Ashley were still in diapers back then.

I've already moved on to this awesome new site that I discovered. It's really handy when you need to look up information of any kind. Seriously, it's the latest thing. Click it.

Um, did you hear that Kevin Federline's album will be produced by Michael Bolton?? Wait, wait - back up. Yes, K-Fed is making an album, which may or may not be worse than the thought of Paris Hilton recording an album. Which would YOU rather sit through? Paris' "Screwed" or Kevin's "Just Screwin' Wit Cha!" Ok, now fast-forward....yes, Michael Bolton will produce. Not the Neptunes, or Kanye West or even Timbaland. It's Mr. Heartbreak himself. Maybe they'll give each other hair tips.

Watch these tots get down on it!

"...children take possession of a reduced-scale entirely rebuilt club with strong design, where night-club clichés meet childlike universe in a soft jewel box." [more]

Steve Jarman, thanks for making my morning!

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

J.Lo may have canceled her European tour, but goshdarnit she can still shoot a Pepsi commercial with Beyonce and David Beckham! The ad will air in Madrid and will reportedly be a "martial arts-style commercial that's being described as "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" meets "Kill Bill." I CAN'T HANDLE the ORIGINALITY!!!!!!!! Although J.lo looks hot, check it out. [Brought to you by Page Six Six Six.]

Ehhh....did you ever see that episode of Family Guy where Peter's old prom date has all these pictures of him on her wall and never washed her hand after he touched it and still wears her prom dress? Like 15 years later? Well, in one of Mariah Carey's two new videos, she wears her old wedding dress from her failed marriage to Tommy Mottola (in 1993). I'm sure it means something more "in depth" but on the surface, it's just sort of "creepy".

This strikes me as cool and scary all at once, so I thought I'd share.

It's WarTuning - and it's gonna be all the rage very soon. You know how everyone and their mother uses iTunes to catalogue, play and buy music? Did you know that there's an option in iTunes to share all that music on a network?

Now, couple that with the widespread problem of people not password-protecting their wireless internet connections...and you've got a big problem/opportunity on your hands. Depending on which side of the fence you sit.

If you'll permit me an ubergeek moment, this makes me nostalgic for the days of phreakers using wardialing programs to find telephone company mainframes to muck around in. If you've no idea what I'm talking about, get a clue.

BTW, credit for the link goes to Lifehacker.

The only bad thing about having an iPod is that if you don't (yet) have the car trip adapter thing, and you forget to bring a hard copy of music (how old school) along for the ride, your driving is sometimes accompanied by the sounds on the radio. Often, I choose silence instead. Why? Cause radio sucks.

However, occasionally I do like to tune in and see what's on. At times some great beats get stuck in my head and I find myself singing along. (Ludacris "Get Back", Fabolous "Breathe", to name a couple.)

But what's more likely to happen is that some horrible lyric will get burned in my brain and I'm incredulous that it's even made it from someone's imagination onto an actual recording that's getting airplay and that there might be people in the world *gasp* singing along. The two most ridiculous lyrics I've been assaulted with of late have been as follows:

Opened up your heart 'cause you said I made you feel so comfortable,
Used to play back then, now you all grown-up like Rudy Huxtable.

- Lil' Jon's "Lovers and Friends"

AND, the worst one:

Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes,
Girl, you look so sexy while you're doing the damn thang I want.
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove,
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls.
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes,
We'll be making love like the restaurant was closed.

- R. Kelly's "Sex In The Kitchen"

While I'm pro the concepts of lovers and friends and sex in the kitchen, I'm very anti these songs. To use a Matt Brett expression, when I hear them I "barf in my mouth".

What makes me cringe even more is that I imagine there are girls and boys out there who really dig these jams. I shudder to think. How could you ever take anyone seriously that sang that to you? HOW?

This week's episode - Kevin speaks from his heart about his two lovely children.
"I have a baby son named Kaleb. [Believe it or not, his full name is Kabel Michael Jackson Federline.] He's about 6 months old now. And he's getting fat, too. Kori was a fat baby too. Man she was just big. She looked like she was gonna be a damn football player." (from the Details magazine interview) [more interview tidbit gems courtesy of Stereogum]

As you're all well aware, at MuchMusic we employ only the finest people (and socks) from every discipline - creative and technical - to produce our programs. We're proud to announce a new addition to our team: 50 Cent, aka Curtis Jackson.

He's going to be putting his magical, 10-million-album-selling skillz to good use - composing music for a little show we like to call Fromage. Using a time machine. Confused? Check out his IMDB entry.

I've been seriously annoyed by The O.C. this season. Was the all-time low when Sandy Cohen took to The Bait Shop stage? Maybe. The Peach Pit After Dark disease seems to be eating away at the show and even though I like the bands that perform, I don't like them being shoved down my throat. Exposure is great, but why can't they write it into the show in a more intelligent way?

The O.C. would do well to take a cue from the Gilmore Girls. Although I've also stopped watching this show with any regularity, they stand-out as the only teen(ish) programming since My So-Called Life to incorporate great music without force-feeding cool to their audience. Last week on the Gilmore Girls, Rory was ripping CDs for Lorelai and name-checking them as she went. Super Furry Animals, The Arcade Fire and Brian Eno. The storyline progressed without hanging on these references. Rory didn't hold up the "Funeral" disc cover and show it to the camera as Summer did with "London Calling". There wasn't a trip to Luke's Diner to watch Franz Ferdinand play. It was simple and I enjoyed it.

Complaining aside, I just read that on the Feb 17 episode of The O.C. Stars' "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" will be used in the show. Nice!

- Mourn the passing of the great playwright Arthur Miller, author of "Death Of A Salesman".

- Not care about the possible cancellation of the NHL season. (This is easy.)

- Waver between "isms" (optimism, pessimism, cynicism, botulism) due to recent Mid-East developments.

- Buy some clothing.

- Listen to Strapping Young Lad's new single "Shitstorm".

- Trivialize everything above by putting them in a big list.

During my stroll to the ole Much HQ this morn, I passed by not one - but 4 posters for the upcoming Vin Diesel flick. Hot off the heels of action flicks like The Fast And The Furious, XXX & The Chronicles of Riddick, the V-man is making...The Pacifier.

Yep, following in the footsteps of many action stars before him - Diesel is playing the role of tough guy whose soft, fatherly side is revealed when faced with undeniably hilarious domestic situations. You know the drill - he learns to change a diaper, falls in love with the nanny, eventually the bad guys find him out, the family is put in danger, but then his shirt is ripped off and he saves the day.

Let's see, who's done this in the past?

Well, there was Arnold Schwartzenegger who went from the Terminator to Predator to Total Recall to....Kindergarten Cop. Sly Stallone scored with Rocky, Rambo and Tango & Cash and then....Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! And who could forget when Mel Gibson went from the Mad Max flicks to Lethal Weapons 1-17 to...Passion Of The Christ. Oh wait, he wasn't actually in The Passion.

Anyhoo, I'd like to take this opportunity to praise two action stars who have not stooped to the level that our dear Diesel has just done. Let's give it up for Steven Seagal and Jean Claude Van Damme. Sure, they may have fallen so far off the radar that not even the worst standup comics are making jokes about them - not even a prop gag from Carrot Top (trust me, I keep dibs on Carrot's latest material. Nothing.) And yes, any Seagal or Van Damme flick from the past few years has been a straight-to-video release - but you won't catch them spitting out "It's not a tumour" any time soon.

Hats off to you Steven and Jean Claude. I'm going straight to the corner store down the street and if I have enough change after buying a bag of chips and a Dr. Pepper, I'm going to hit the video rack at the very very very back of the store and think about renting your latest movies.

Who cares about this year's Super Bowl? Well, obviously many...many people actually do, but I'm not one of them. I tuned in for this year's Halftime show and then went to sleep before it even really began. People hoping for a glimpse of Paul McCartney's Prince Albert were sadly let down. Let us remember what happened at last year's extravaganza - the one split second instance that changed the face of America. But perhaps more importantly, the moment that altered Janet Jackson's career FOREVER: Nipplegate. If I could, I would retire this word and never speak of it again.

Fortunately, the event inspired some goodness, including these cupcakes (originally linked last year by Kelly).

And this year's spin-off cupcakes.

And hot dog cupcakes.

And flipping pancakes (Happy Pancake day!)

Umm...I think I'm getting a little confused in my path of consciousness here, so just go play this game, ok?

So I went on an O.C. marathon last week-end and it was everything you'd imagine it could be; exhilarating, exhausting, euphoric, I can't think of another adjective that starts with "e". Anyways, now I have to wait once a week to watch the gang, like the rest of the world, and that sucks. And what sucks more is all the new characters. I know they need to prolong the sexual tension between Ryan and Marissa and Seth and Summer and whatnot, but call me crazy - I like seeing those guys together. I don't need sexual tension; those guys hangin' together, gettin' in to trouble, gettin' out of trouble, gettin' caught makin' out, catchin Julie Cooper makin' out, walkin' in on Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen makin' out, all that's fine for me. I just want it to be like the way they were, in the first season. When things were, exhilarating, exhausting, euphoric; you know!! This whole pseudo-lesbian thing isn't working and the illegitimate child thing is tired as well....and now Jimmy Cooper's gone, I was even starting to like Luke for cryin' out loud! I need my first season fix back, I'm going crazy. This week-end, I was forced to watch Miss Congeniality for the one hundredth time. I'm like a drug addict. The first season of the O.C. changed my life and ruined it at the same time. Everything is mediocre next to season one. What do I do?

Whats the deal with airplane peanuts? Ok, that sounds like a cheesy opening line that Jerry Seinfeld would use in a comedy routine....somehow...its more funny when he says it....woe is me.

Anyhow, seriously, whats the deal with being sick? I am just getting over the worst flu i think if my entire and complete existence thus far in my short life of twenty or so years....wow....what a long and unnecessary sentence. Ernest Hemmingway would disapproove.... you see my friends, Hemmingway's career was based on finding the most complete and brief sentance possible, hence the dismay at my pathetic rambling....

...ok back to topic, "Being sick", an informal and unfortunate essay by Devon Soltendieck". So again, i ask the ever burdening question, whats the deal with being sick? They say there is nothing you can do once you are sick exept sleep, so how, i ask, am i to combat this, the most awful of my many flu experiences. My doctor told me that the only way to combat such a sickness is to beat it before it comes....thus, having to take copious amounts of medication and vitamins prior to any symptoms....however, doctors also say that taking medication before a sickness can lead to false symptoms created by your brain, which would then, i suspect, lead to self medication of false symptoms eventually lowering the body's immunity to real sickness, therefore causing the body to be more succeptable to bacteria that causes the flu in the first place. What's a boy to do?

So, intead of loading up on meds, i suggest sleep and vitamin C filled orange juice.

Recently I revealed to a few of my workmates my love of lists. I adore making lists, and not just your garden-variety to-do list, or grocery list or Christmas list. Here's an example of some of my lists, most of which I have with me at all times in my day planner:

• Live shows I saw in 2003 (total: 25)
• Live shows I saw in 2004 (total: 26)
• Live shows I saw in 2005, so far (total: 2)
• My favourite albums of all time (#1: Come Down - The Dandy Warhols)
• My favourite movies of all time, by genre (#1 comedy: Raising Arizona)
• The countries I've travelled to (total: 12)
• The places I want to visit someday in order of interest (#1: Prague)
• The restaurants in Toronto I'd like to check out (#1: Focaccia on Hayden Street)
• The renovations I want to do to my house (total: 35)
• The actors and actresses that will star in my award-winning screenplay someday (including Jay Mohr, Kate Beckinsale, Vince Vaughn, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Zooey Deschanel and Johnny Lee Miller)
• And perhaps the oddest list, my favourite types of food (#1: Ethiopian)

The question is, why? Why do I get such a kick out of compartmentalizing my life in this way? I never knew where my list-making had begun, until a couple nights ago I found a bundle of notebooks from when I was a kid. And there were lists I don't remember making: All the Christmas presents I'd recieved in 1982 (including several Sweet Valley High books), my favourite items of clothing circa grade 6 (including a white crop top with the words "looking good" emblazoned on the front in neon pink letters - God help me), my friends in order of importance (#1: Jennifer), my elementary school boyfriends including who dumped who (Derrick appears twice) and most embarrassingly, a list of the 10 steps I would take to attain movie stardom (including a film adaptation of Judy Blume's Tiger Eyes which I would film during summer break between grade 7 and 8). Still doesn't explain the WHY?, but perhaps confirms for me that I will never be free of my compulsion to list. Does everyone do this? Or no one?

In keeping with my personal weirdness, here are some fun lists for you to check out...

Metacritic's Top Movies of 2004
Pitchfork's Top 100 Singles of 2000-2004
10 Bands that fortunately changed their names back in the day
The Guardian's Top Music Videos of All Time (which was decided by a panel including Bjork and Avril Lavigne)

So, I'm walking to work, and, as I often do, I take a detour through the Toronto Eaton Centre. I think it's the 13 year old still trapped inside me that feels pangs and urges to visit a mall at least twice weekly.

Anyway, the stores are all closed because it's still early, but I'm just strolling through past mall fountains, mall directories and mall lockers.

And then I see it.
The most brilliant concept I have never even imagined being possible.

Food Court Funnies.

Seriously, this stuff is awesome. Imagine an episode of "America's Funniest Videos" (formerly known as "America's Funniest HOME Videos"), being played on monitors hanging above the seating area of the food court. There's no audio, but there are endless hours of people falling off skateboards, people slipping on ice, people tripping off docks into the water, and people's skis sliding downhill without them.

I think the only thing that would make this invention any better is if someone were to stand underneath the monitors with a slide-whistle and make that pants-dropping, people-slipping noise to correspond with the action on the screen. It would be kind of like the old days when movies had no audio and some guy would sit and play the piano in the movie theatre to match the actions on screen.

Haha... movies having no sounds. How lame.