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April 30th, 2013
On tonight’s brand new episode of Awkward., things go beyond Awkward. when Jenna’s dad Kevin finds her birth control and makes a call to Matty’s parents. Plus, Sadie begins to lose control of the cheerleaders and Tamara and Jake take their relationship to the next level.
Jenna has made the wise choice to go on the pill, but her foresight only stretches so far. She is lacking the ninja skills required to take oral contraceptives in high school and makes the rookie mistake of not hiding the pills from…her father!
Lacey makes an attempt to pass the pills off as her own, but Kevin wasn’t born yesterday. For reference, Jenna was born 16 years ago when her parents were still 16. Kevin decides the only way to deal with his discovery is to call Matty’s parents! Jenna brings up the fact that Kevin bought her condoms, which is confusing messaging, but he backs up his move, saying they were a pre-emptive purchase. This would have been a good time to lie and say the pill was also pre-emptive in case she decides to have sex, but after the year her parents had, not lying is probably the better way to go. Either way, the voicemail has been left on the McKibbons phone. Time to panic.
Jenna finds Tamara at school and gives her friend the DL on what will soon become an infamous voicemail. Tamara feels for Jenna but she is more concerned with hiding her own birth control. She is ready to have sex with Jake as soon as Jake says the three magic words – hide your pills. I kid, I kid. She wants an I Love You. Tamara also wants to have sex with Jake so that Jakara (Jake and Tamara) will finally have something over Jakenna (Jake and Jenna). That’s healthy.
Jenna did the only reasonable thing a person in this situation could do. She told Matty in under five seconds and then ran. She should try out for track.
Making it to class in record time, Jenna gets a dose of pain from Mr. Heart, who tells her she’s a terrible writer and needs to dig deeper, expressing herself with words, not emoticons. But they’re sooooo fun! The only person who didn’t make Mr. Heart want to cover his eyes in paper cuts is new guy Colin.
Matty finally finds Jenna and tries to gather deets on what is sitting on his parent’s voicemail, but she’s more interested in why her writing sucks and Colin’s doesn’t. Is this foreshadowing to Jenna being a little too interested in Colin? Matty does get enough information out of Jenna to discover that her dad called his parents land line, which they never use, giving him time to get home and erase the evidence.
Apparently Matty didn’t get home in time.
After Matty makes the excruciatingly uncomfortable apology for taking Jenna’s virginity, Lacey does the polite ‘stay for dinner’ invite, which everyone knows you never accept. Everyone, but Matty’s father.
The dinner is silent until Kevin begins to ask questions, discovering that Matty has slept with three girls in total. Matty’s parents seem totes cool with their teenage son having sex with multiple girls, but when Lacey assures them there will be no pregnancies because she took Jenna to get the pill, all hell breaks loose.
Mrs. McKibbon begins attacking Lacey and Kevin for what she sees as promoting their children having sex. When Matty attempts to defend the Hamilton’s, his mother begins attacking him. Lacey, who is a new woman this season, stands up for her daughter and refuses to let Matty’s mother upset her or her daughter.
Unfortunately for Matty, his mother is just too much. He shows up on their doorstep later that night, looking for a place to crash. Shouldn’t this be Jake territory? Your girlfriends’ dad not killing you when he finds birth control is one thing, but letting you sleep over? Homeslice is brave.
Everyone is gossiping during cheerleading practice and Sadie is struggling to instil the fear she has become known for. Lissa finally breaks the news to her bestie.
The topic of goss around the school is the financial sitch of Sadies parents…or lack thereof. In true Lissa fashion, her lack of foresight means she dropped the bomb on Sadie while standing on her besties shoulders, causing Sadie to drop her.
That looks rough.
It’s the day before Nationals and the rest of the squad think it’s time to call in the alternate, but Sadie is against it. Why doesn’t Sadie want this girl called?
Ooooooooooo, I see.
Now that Tamara is a cheerleader she is too excited to wait for Jake to say I Love You. It’s sexy time! Sexy time quickly ends when Jake sets up the exact same blanket-in-mini-scenario he had planned for his first time with Jenna.
Feeling less than special, Tamara runs off crying. Jake is finally able to calm her down and realizes that using the same setting was a bone head move.
Tamara begins telling Jake that her ideal surroundings for the deed include a hotel room, some champagne and a big robe.
The hotel quickly becomes her bedroom and the two quickly consumante their relationship. Well, I don’t actually know how quickly it happened. Don’t mean to throw any shade at ya, Jake. Tamara is vagingling (yikes) and while their first time wasn’t outstanding, Jake is looking forward to figuring out the sex thing with Tamra and she finally gets the I Love You she was waiting for.