Britney Hospitalized: The Mandatory Blog Post

January 4th, 2008

Prepare yourselves, dear kittens, for Britney overload. It’s not as if it’s a slow news day: last night’s Iowa caucus – a critical first step in determining the next president of the United States – churned out surprise victories for Democratic contender Barack Obama and a surprise win for Republican Mike Huckabee (who plays the guitar, for what it’s worth.) Particularly relevant since voters turned out in record numbers, particularly the under 30 set who overwhelmingly ticked the Obama box on the ballot. There’s the current political strife in Kenya, in which over 350 people have died amid post-election violence.

And a surprising example of how much society really is changing: France, the country known for les gens qui fument et des cigarettes et le tabac as much as it’s known for baguettes and berets is working towards a smoking ban.

And then there’s Britney.

Oh Britney.

Britney, Britney, Britney.

There comes a point when these paparazzi-trailed professional messes cross the line from entertaining gossip fodder to tragic. Brit surpassed that threshold long ago, but last night really solidified it.

What happened is still being pieced together, but here’s what we do know is that Britney Spears is currently in hospital undergoing drug and psychological evaluation.

Yesterday we reported that Britney had finally attended a long delayed deposition, during which she took the stand and was questioned by an attorney for ex husband Kevin Federline as a part of her ongoing child custody battle. Correction: Highly bitter, overly publicized ongoing custody battle.

The pop singer didn’t give more: She was in the hot seat for a total of 14 minutes. Brit had turned up over an hour and 45 minutes late to a two hour appointment. This was around 11:30am.

As per their current agreement, in which KFed has primary custody of their two children and Brit has visitation right, Britney was scheduled to have the children until 7pm. A bodyguard for Federline came to pick the boys up at the appointed time and that’s when things got chaotic.

People Magazine is reporting that the “Piece of Me” singer locked herself in a room with younger son Jayden James, refusing to hand him over. Police were called at about 8PM. About three hours later, with no resolution, the police had to knock down the door and take the child.

Britney was tied to a gurney and taken, via ambulance, to Cedars Sinai Medical Centre for evaluation. She is said to be undergoing psychological and drug evaluation. The latter is not unsubstantiated: In a statement released by police, Brit was said to be under the influence of an “unknown substance”.

Of course this was all caught on film, due to Brit’s omnipresent posse of paps. A picture tells a thousand words and with the shots that are circulating on line – of helicopters hovering over her mansion during the standoff; paddywagons parked and at the ready in her driveway; of Brit being wheeled out of her abode, strapped down, laughing hysterically, crying hysterically; of paramedics struggling to treat the spiralling pop star in the back of an ambulance; Kevin Federline, Spears’ dad, Jamie, and her sons rushing to the hospital; photos of the media circus, the cause and effect to some extent, that travels where the drama goes – words almost don’t need to be said. It’s no longer entertaining tabloid fodder or an annoying example of celebrity oversaturation; it’s just sad.

And I can’t help but have an Anna Nicole moment and think that this unravelling is what everybody has been waiting for. There’s a distinct sense that gossip hounds won’t be satisfied until the gripping tale that is Brit’s existence meets some sort of conclusion or demise. So brace yourself, the Spears saga continues.

For an interesting assessment of the trainwreck phenomenon, check out this article from last Sunday’s New York Times.

Photograph Courtesy x17

Posted on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at 3:55 pm by Sabrina Jalees and is filed under Celebrities & Pop Culture.