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August 29th, 2014
Britney Spears is a free b–ch baby!
Pop Queen Britney Spears has split from her boyfriend of over a year David Lucado. The mother of two ended her long term relationship after rumours of a video of David cheating on Britney spread. GASP! How could someone cheat on someone who is perfection personified? For shame David, for shame. Britney’s pappy Jaime Spears played the protective father role and reportedly spent a pretty penny to keep the video from leaking to the press. At least there’s one man in Britney’s life she can depend on.
But Britney isn’t letting her recent heartbreak get her down. Godney tweeted about of her newly single status.
Ahhhh the single life!
— Britney Spears (@britneyspears) August 28, 2014
She also posted an iconic and flawless video on her Instagram sharing with the world the cure to a having a bad day.
And if that fails to brighten your spirits may I suggest binge eating Cheetos, listening to Britney’s entire music catalog, and watching the cinematic masterpiece Crossroads. And by the odd chance that doesn’t help this will definitely bring a smile to your face.
Britney’s ability to smile and flawlessly impersonate a cartoon bird while dealing with heartbreak is just one of the many reasons she is superior to all us mere mortals. Britney furthered her god-like status when she made a dying fans wish come true.
Cory Moraw has suffered a lot in his 28 years. The Texas native was born with a genetic disorder and has also been diagnosed with diabetes and cirrhosis of the liver. Doctors predicted that Cory only has 1-5 years to live, and as his dying wish he wanted to see Britney live in concert and meet the queen herself. As anyone’s dying wish should be. Well Britney being the ever gracious and always giving person she is, flew Cory and his family first class to Las Vegas so he could watch her live with VIP passes. She’s a modern day Mother Theresa.
And proving one good deed deserves another, Britney wrote a personal letter to a fan after he came out of the closet.
After being lucky enough to meet Godney in person, David Lecours gifted her with a letter dictating all the ways Britney has helped him get through a difficult moment in his life. It must have been a long letter. Britney was so touched and inspired by David’s gift that she penned her own letter and mailed it to him. In the letter Britney says how happy she is and how courageous David is for coming to terms with his sexuality.
Oh Britney. Even when she’s dealing with a breakup she puts her fans above all. Praise Godney!
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