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We now take a quick break from all things VFest for a minute to check in with Britney Spears, who is all revved up for her great comeback performance on the MTV VMAs and I am SOOOO excited!!! What will she do? Pythons? Tigers? Pyrotechnics? Fireworks? Part the sea? CURE CANCER?! Her highly-anticipated performance is only a minute away…

9:00pm – Wow – cut right to Britney, in close up, already obviously lip-syncing right off the bat – and not well. Eek the cat. And that is NOT a hot outfit: a bedazzled bikini?

9:02pm – She grabs a male back-up dancer’s crotch. Classy. Now she’s not dancing at all, she’s just walking back and forth with the occasional grind. What happened to the dancing?! You can’t lip-sync AND not dance! You can only do one or the other, Brit! INEXCUSABLE!

9:03pm – Cut to a confused 50 Cent in the audience.

9:04pm – She goes into the inevitable final dance routine… but she looks SO bored. Is she drugged? There is NO energy. Her performance comes to a fizzled end.

Gimme More? NO THANKS! Weak, Britney, that was WEAK! I was one of the only few who stuck with you through your ill-conceived marriages, pregnancies, breakdowns, hair buzzings, crotch flashings and ugly gum-chewing but this performance – THIS – was the last straw.

You’re now officially dead to me, Girl. Now go.

UPDATE: Apparently I’m not the only one who’s disappointed. Over on Perez, all he wrote was “How Bad Was Britney Y’all? Discuss.” And just 2 hours after Brit’s craptastic performance, there have already been over 4000 comments! And now his site is basically stalled!

Sorry Brit – you’ve been OWNED! (And yes, I just said that…)

Posted on Sunday, September 9th, 2007 at 9:11 pm by Soja and is filed under Celebrities & Pop Culture.

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