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Burn To You, Tara Reid.

August 29th, 2006

Well, it seems that Tara Reid was denied entrance to a club while Paris sauntered right on in.

My thoughts: why the hell would you want to go to this crappy club? Look at the guy with the bad facial hair standing next to Tara, yelling, “No room!” He’s like the losers I went to high school with (uh, if you went to my high school, I’m obviously not referring to YOU *cough*).

In fact, it seems like L.A. is one big high school. Look, Paris is popular and Tara isn’t. Tara, if I were you, I’d dye my hair black, get a lip piercing, quit the coke, and lament about the perils of being young, rich, and famous in some eccentric little coffeehouse where pseudo-indie people like Ryan Gosling hang out. From what I’ve heard, Ryan’s pretty awesome. I bet if you argued your case to him, he’d let you be friends with him and Rachel. Believe me, the popular kids suck.

You know who’s not popular? Carmen Electra. Have you seen Dirty Love? That movie is a frigging masterpiece. She can pull it off cause it’s not something the popular kids would do. Dude, go make friends with Christina Ricci or some shit! I bet she has better things to say than Paris “I-love-my-backasswards-cd-so-much-it-makes-me-cry” Hilton. why would anyone want to be at the same club as her anyway? Look, here’s ten bucks. Go download some The Kooks and do something that’s actually interesting.

Please, just stop hanging around the door and looking all desperate. The Girls Gone Wild guy was in that club! You want to be in there?? HUH? It makes me want to give you a hug. And next time someone doesn’t let you into a club because you’re not “cool” enough, remember, they’re not your real friends anyway.

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