But It Could Have Happened

June 22nd, 2004

the mmva’s are over and boy are my arms tired. that makes no sense.
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yesterday was REALLY touch and go for me. i wanted to sleep under my desk SO badly. i heard a rumour that a girl in our sales department (i don’t know who) got in trouble because she was caught sleeping under her desk with like a pillow and a blanket. i think that girl deserves a raise for her ingenuity!
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i went to two after-parties. i remember a lot from the first one and not much at all from the second one. i spotted a few celebs at the first after party. i ordered a drink next to steve-o from sum41. i’ll never wash my swizzle stick again. and i think i saw avril lavigne. it may have been her doppelganger sister. i’m not sure. i tend to always think i’ve seen avril lavigne when i’m drunk so it may have just been a hallucination. my friend rob always sees the alphabits wizard when he’s drunk. it pops out from behind furniture and scurries behind the couch and stuff.
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the next after-party is a bit more of a mystery for me. i know i was outside at one point talking with television’s own mr. diego fuentes. but i don’t remember any other celebrity sightings. i befriended (and terrified) new much employee matt, who is a future celebrity fyi.
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because i remember so little, i will invent my own imaginary celebrity gossip to share:
-i distinctly overheard allanah myles telling vivica a. fox that she could kick her ass
-p. diddy was spotted in a bathroom stall making out with carol channing.
-hilary duff pushed avril lavigne into the buffet table, sending crab cakes flying all over nipsy russell
-sally struthers, who recently married george stromboulopolis, stole paris hilton’s dog — and then ate it! she was then forcibly removed by security.
-a huge fight started when gavin mcleod (who was wasted AGAIN) refused to give amanda marshall one more cent of child support until she could prove the baby is his. maury povich stepped in and broke it up. i later discovered that connie chung was at home nursing a cold.
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what a CRAZY NIGHT!
this is where the editor’s note will point out once again that this is FAKE gossip. fine. but it could have happened!
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[ed. note: it's kinda strange that justin always has to make up his gossip. strange, and sad. pity him]