Can I Come To Your House And See Your Snake?

July 12th, 2004

so i should start with how much i love all of our vj’s. i love them all equally. i love rick. i love amanda. i love george. i especially love george because he is really nice to me even though 3 years ago at a nighttime event i asked him “can i come to your house and see your snake?” and then 2 years ago at another event i said “remember a year ago when i asked to come over and see your snake? i meant your penis. and i still want to see it.” despite all this, he is still really nice to me. i love hannah as well. i love jenn hollett because she walks the walk. she actually rides the streetcar for real. you couldn’t pay me to get on the tuberculosis trolley but she gets right on and rides it with pride. and i saw her order a salad but had them put it in her reusable smarties sundae container. that’s someone who sticks to their beliefs. you gotta love that. i love sarah because she talked about my dog on tv and even showed a photo of him. i don’t know him yet, but i even love devon.
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now that i got all that out of the way i just have one more thing to say to all of the aforementioned vjs: you’re fired. get out.
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the reason? our new vj matt. now that he is here the rest of you can just go. i’m done with you. i have no need for you anymore. i love matt more than you.
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(you may notice that i am not spelling his name with the unnecessary extra “e”. in the age of “hi how r u. i m fine. gr8. c u l8er.” it makes no sense to start adding unnecessary letters. plus when his name is spelled with the e it reminds me of when i worked at sooters as a teen and had to offer our customers a choice of matte or glossy.)
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anyway. he is the best vj ever. did you see him on his first day? that was amazing. did you see him on his second day? even better! he is 2 for 2. and i love him for it.
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this is becoming a novel so i’ll have to tell you another day about how i discovered matt(e), and why he owes all of his current and future success to me. stay tuned and keep watching matt(e)!

Posted on Monday, July 12th, 2004 at 12:17 pm by Justin S. and is filed under Blog.