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Check out the 239 issues that have appeared on Degrassi

August 3rd, 2012

To celebrate the twelfth season of Degrassi, Vulture.com has put together a list of the 239 issues that have been tackled by the Canadian teen drama. The website has listed the incidents in chronological order, with Clare’s recent humiliation on Twitter (#stuffclaresays, anyone?) coming in at number 239.

It’s hard to decide what’s more impressive – that someone wrote this list or that there are even MORE issues that could be added. Check out Vulture’s list in full below. What are your favourite issues tackled by Degrassi?

Avoiding Internet predators
Negotiating school with a new stepsibling
Being fat
Having a fat friend
Stealing your fat friend’s crush
Gay dads
Your First Period
Spending too much time with your first girlfriend
Dyscalculia
Insect infestations
Vandalism
When a bird poops on you on your first date ever
The differences between a spirit squad and a cheerleading team
Having to repeat a grade
Becoming a plus-size model
Accidentally taking Ecstasy at a middle-school house party
Abusive parents
When your mom dates your teacher
When the bully has an adopted sister (but only for, like, one season)
Inopportune boners
Making fun of your friends’ inopportune boners
The dangers of unsanitary piercings
Sharing lockers
Date rape
Battles of the bands
Writing a battle of the bands song about date rape
Eating disorders
Islamophobia
Being too good at sewing
Unplanned pregnancy (parent-age edition)
Getting a crush on your science teacher based on the way she gingerly takes care of guinea pigs
Palm-reading
Stealing from your friends
Having rich friends
Opposing genetically modified foods
Being a beard
Coming out
Competing to be Luau King and Queen
The dangers of LSD
Finding out your birth father has severe brain damage thanks to what happened to him while he was on LSD
Home births
Your stepdad trying to join your band
Sexual awakenings
Brain cancer
Homophobia
Self-harm
Secret admirers
Raves!
Stealing someone’s boyfriend
Someone stealing your boyfriend
Cheating on your girlfriend
Intimate partner violence
Losing one’s virginity
Uplanned pregnancy (teenager edition)
Abortion
Detention
Comas
Another battle of the bands
More stealing
Making smart investments with your inheritance
Anxiety about penis size
Teasing someone about his penis size
Taking care of a ferret
Kissing contests
Bullying
School shootings
Getting shot
Depression
Bipolar disorder
Losing your virginity at your gay dad’s wedding
Giving PTSD-induced blow jobs in a van
Getting oral gonorrhea
Having a crush on a student teacher
Actually dating that student teacher
Being in a wheelchair
Wanting to burn down your school
Donating blood
Not being allowed to donate blood because you’re gay
Being in a Kevin Smith movie
Taking your top off at a party
Filming someone taking her top off at a party
Sending a film of someone taking her top of at a party to everyone at school
Going to school after everyone has seen a video of you taking your top off at a party
Uplanned pregnancy (teenager edition II)
Placing a baby for adoption
Trying to fit in with the wheelchair-basketball crowd
Dealing drugs
Attempting suicide
Having your first lesbian crush
Acting on your first lesbian crush
Asking Kevin Smith for advice on acting on your first lesbian crush
Joining a Christian club just to impress a girl
Telling your Christian girlfriend you’re a virgin when you’re not
Eating disorders, again
The dangers of street racing
Getting left back because of all the school you missed when you were shot
Not being able to get erections thanks to that time you got shot
Being a teen mom
Posting naughty photos of yourself on the Internet
Not being able to forgive your girlfriend for that time she gave a PTSD-induced blow job in a van near a ravine
Drug addiction
Murder
Dealing with your ex-boyfriend (and baby daddy)’s murder
Wanting to play professional hockey
Gambling addiction
Stealing, again
Stripping
Joining the army
Having to merge schools with the people who murdered your baby daddy
Starting a podcast
Getting roofied
Date rape
Attempted suicide
Making false accusations against a teacher
Testicular cancer
Prostitution
Fake engagements
Fake engagements that turn into real engagements
Accidentally sending in your sex tape with a college application
Having sex with someone who did not disclose that he is HIV positive
Wanting to be religious, even though everyone makes fun of you for it
Wanting not to be in your sibling’s shadow
Having Aspergers
Becoming a model
Being the only girl on the football team
Bringing a vibrator to school
Wanting your bad-boy boyfriend to support you at robot wars
Your parents not approving of your interracial relationship
Getting suspending for starting a Facebook hate group
Being molested by your father
Getting shot at work
Trying to make your girlfriend less high-strung
The dangers of sexting nude photos of yourself to your bad-boy boyfriend (who did not really support you at robot wars)
Taking over as the lead singer in your ex-boyfriend’s band
Renting a loft from one of the rich kids
Finding warts on your penis
Telling your girlfriend about those warts on your penis
Trashing locker rooms
Lying about how much you love LARPing
LARPing
Coping with your girlfriend getting LARP-married
Managing your anger issues
Becoming a lifeguard
Accepting one’s own sexuality
Realizing your basketball coach doesn’t just want to share beers and watch porn; he wants to molest you
Auditioning for musicals
Figuring out who pays on dates
Arranged marriage
Lying about being on the pill
Taking the morning-after pill
Having sex dreams
Writing vampire fan-fiction about your sex dreams
Cheating on math tests
Coming out to your football team
Incest
Faking a pregnancy
Intimate partner violence, again
Getting laser eye surgery
Living with your mom at a halfway house when she gets out of prison
Throwing a “hands on a hard body” contest
Sharting on your cheerleading team because you took diet pills that cause anal leakage
Buying a teacup pig
Being transgender
Getting outed as trans
Supporting your friend as he transitions to living as a boy
Breast cancer
Unplanned pregnancy (teenage edition, part III)
Confronting your grief over your girlfriend’s off-screen death
Becoming an alcoholic
Giving blow jays in the boiler room
Anticipating getting a blow jay in the boiler room
Prostituting yourself for $50
Bringing a knife to a school dance
Divorce
Being a hoarder
Finding out your boyfriend is a hoarder
Stealing, again
The danger of playing with tasers
Lying about being 18 so you can date a doctor
Taking mushrooms before your basketball game
Finding Jesus and wanting forgiveness after you brought a knife to the school dance
Developing a crush on the guy who found Jesus and wants forgiveness for bringing a knife to the school dance
Stalking
Developing kidney failure because you were too busy to get your strep throat treated
Announcing your love of pogo-sticking
Getting sexually harassed at CPR class
Discovering that you’re a lesbian
Realizing your teen boyfriend will be a bad father
Gang violence
Accidentally killing the gang member who was attempting to rape you
Trying to take the fall for your girlfriend by claiming you killed her attempted rapist
Taking antianxiety medication
Stealing girls’ underwear
Stealing your teacher’s underwear
Photographing women’s underwear
Creating an app about all the women’s underwear you’ve photographed
Cheating on your baby mama
Trying cocaine
Looooooving cocaine
Discovering you’re adopted
Asking your birth mom for a kidney
Having your birth mom offer to sell you her kidney for $20,000
Deciding to place your 6-month-old up for adoption
Cage-fighting
Joining the army to deal with that cocaine habit
Surprising everyone with your poker skills
Getting addicted to poker
Framing your romantic rival for drug possession
Eating disorders, again
Missing prom for your kidney transplant
Getting shot at the prom
Realizing your mom is dating your boyfriend’s dad
Dating your stepsibling
Going to a haunted cabin
Pinning a vandalism crime on the weird girl
Developing a crush on the weird girl
Getting mad when the weird girl makes an art project about your bipolar disorder
Stealing your mom’s pain medication
Becoming addicted to pain medication
Joining a cult
Discovering that cult is a drug cartel
Regretting placing your baby for adoption
Not regretting placing your baby for adoption
The inherent drama of Model U.N.
Falling for the queen bee
Using your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend to get you more pain medication
ODing on pain medication
Going to a strip club
Coping with your parents’ financial ruin
Wishing more people respected your cello skills
Getting so drunk you don’t remember losing your virginity to your girlfriend, who was once addicted to pain medication
Wearing chicken cutlets
Developing a breathalyzer-style cancer-screening technique
Ousting the Christian homophobe from the school play
Stealing, again
Getting baptized to impress a crush
Being humiliated on Twitter