Chocolate, Oil, Tar Or Paint?

June 4th, 2004

in my attempt to reduce the number of hangovers i have each week (i’m down to 4! woo hoo!!) i have been watching a lot of tv. here are some observations:
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superstar usa: i can’t stop watching. i have absolutely no morals whatsoever but even i (yes, moi!) am beginning to feel guilty. it really is unnecessarily cruel — and yet totally engaging. i know that the comedian dude is supposed to be the cruelest, but somehow i think vitamin c has come off as the most sadistic. she clearly LOVES ruining these peoples’ lives. i have to respect her work ethic, but it still makes me feel a bit uneasy. fyi: nina diva was my favourite. i really thought she could go all the way. i guess that the blonde skanky one has my vote now that nina diva is gone. when in doubt, vote for the slut. that’s why i’m voting for the ndp! (i have no idea what that means)
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the swan finale: what are the reigning swan’s duties? does she visit recovering child plastic surgery patients in war-torn countries? i want to know.
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the new brandy video: i think kanye is the new pharrell. just like gay is the new black. pate is the new brie. yahoo is the new msn. white wine is the new dr.pepper (for me anyway).
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canadian idol: this is the only non-much/mmm canadian program i have ever watched. our canadian judges embarrass me. they are so unqualified it’s ridiculous. well i think that jake and farley are qualified. and i suppose sass is somewhat qualified (was lisa lougheed not available????), but who is this zack guy? i don’t know anyone in the canadian music industry who had EVER heard of him previous to this show. his pathetic simon impersonation makes me so crazy! what business does he have criticizing these poor losers when he has absolutely no business being there (except for an uncanny resemblance to canadian 80s singer gowan). i think they should ditch zack and sass and replace both of them with alannah myles. then you get the singer and the mean bitch all rolled into one person!
ps: earlier this week canadian idol ryan malcolm was spotted eating on a restaurant patio next to muchmusic. i was spying on him from my desk window. he had his cell phone out ready to take all those important show business/canadian idol related phone calls. it only rang once. wrong number.
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the new christina milian video: holy crap! first of all is that chocolate, oil, tar, or paint?? why can’t a big sexy black man tear my shirt off and roll me around in oil/chocolate/tar/paint? actually i think that may have happened to me already. why must my most precious memories be blurred from drinking? this is why i’m staying home and watching more tv.

Posted on Friday, June 4th, 2004 at 4:25 pm by Justin S. and is filed under Blog.