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Did you watch Jersey Shore last night?

January 15th, 2010

Welcome to Jersey Shore, biotch!

Holy Brah. Last night’s double episode of JS was straight up trippin’. Here’s the situation:

1. Mike explains that girls you don’t want to date are grenades. Plus-sized girls you don’t want to date are grenade launchers. I would expect nothing less from a man who nicknamed himself ‘The Situation’.

2. Snooki’s new man, Keith ‘The Farmer’, shows us that some skill is required when doing the fist pump.

3. Pauly D’s new friend, Danielle, goes from being “mad cool” to “mad weird” and becomes a Stage Five Clinger. Pauly’s confrontation with Danielle on the phone is possibly the most we’ve heard him talk all season.

4. JWoww pukes in Atlantic City and punches Mike in the head, after he refuses to walk her home. Chivalry is dead!

5. Favourite two Snooki quotes of the night: “I’m not trashy…unless I drink too much.” “My boobs are so tight that I can’t breathe. Is that normal?” No Snooki, no it’s not.

6. Just when you think that all Guidos sound the same, Vinny’s impression of Mike shows that there are huge differences in the house. Mike says ‘Yo’w.’ Vinny says ‘Yo’h.’ Totes different.

7. To get back at Vinny for dating his sister, Mike puts together a concoction of pickle juice, cheese and mayonnaise to act as a stink bomb in Vinny’s room. Haterade: best served cold.

8. Ronnie ends the show by punching a guy and getting arrested. Makes friends, not fists!

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