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Every year I buy many Christmas gifts. The holiday is important to my family; I could never show up empty-handed or even worse – refuse a gift. (For them, it’s a cultural faux pas to not except everything & anything that’s offered to you.) But I don’t really need anything, and I definitely don’t need to brush up against 700 angry pre-xmas mall rats.

The alternative: I have friends who (and bear with me here capitalists) give the money they would have spent on their mother/brother/lover to charity. This would never work with my family. But if it does with yours and you’re not a cuddly activist, meaning you are vain and style-conscious, I have the charity for you.

It’s called The F**k Death Foundation. Toronto artists Jeremy Stewart & Simon Wilkinson (best known for the Grey Sweatsuit Revolution are donating their time and money – and perhaps yours? – to charities that battle diseases/phenomena statistically most likely to kill you. So cancer, AIDS, heart disease, parasites, infectious ailments and global crises in general.

It’s for people who want to live forever – and F**k Death. In their note to “Death”, Simon & Jeremy tell the evil killer like it is: “We, the living, have decided that there is no logical reason why we have to put up with you anymore.”

According to F**k Death’s research, the body actually starts dying at 25 years old. From that young moment onward, a combo of factors, triggered metabolically, begin our ultimate demise.

The lofty and cheeky goal of the project is to actually make death extinct. But ironically, giving to this charity instead of buying at Christmas might one day make you so healthy, you’ll need to purchase nice clothes to show off your amazingly fit, death-proof bod. Boxing Day is a good place to start.

Here’s where sign up:
1-877-DIE-DON’T
forever@fuckdeath.org

Posted on Thursday, December 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm by Hannah Simone and is filed under Just For Fun.

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