GG Episode 3: The Jewel of Denial

October 12th, 2011

I don’t think any of us believe for a second that baby is….okay, so I won’t reveal it here in case anyone hasn’t seen the episode yet (my goodness if “anyone” is you, please click HERE and get caught up with the rest of us!).

Okay, once you’re good to go, click on for your full Gossip Girl debrief on Nate’s shady actions, who double-crossed Dan, Blair’s many excuses to not figure out the baby daddy, and who Chuck’s new best friend is.

Ready? 1…2…3…Go!

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Serena van der Woodsen / Charlie Rhodes/Ivy

Serena has successfully kidnapped her faux-cousin and brought her back to New York city. Of course, Charlie is really Ivy and knows what she’s doing is wrong. She tried (repeatedly, and then over and over again) to give hints to Serena she doesn’t want to come back or belong on the Upper East Side.

But you know Serena – she doesn’t listen to anyone but herself or whichever man she just met she’s also currently sleeping with.

So Serena entices Charlie to stay by having her take part in a fashion show. Now, Charlie loves the lifestyle of the rich and famous, and decides she’s going to stay after all, scam or no scam. Carol Rhodes, Charlie’s real mother and Ivy’s former partner in crime, tracks her down to say “WTF?”

But Ivy carefully gives her the dealio – you tell on me, I bring you down with me. You keep my secret, I give you access to Charlie’s trust fund again.

Carol accepts, and tells her she’s on her own now. Dun dun dun……

Dan Humphrey / Chuck Bass

First of all, aren’t these two besties so cute together? Pretending they despise each other when really, they’re the only friends each other has. Dan buys Chuck a new best friend, a little puppy named Monkey. And Chuck is totally in love with it (even if he says he’s not).

On the other hand, Chuck tracked down Dan’s mystery publisher. After meeting with a contact who could stop the “annonymous” novel from being published, the contact (yeah, Imma keep calling this character “contact” because I forgot his name) takes credit for the book instead.

Seeing the popularity this author is getting (the book, titled Inside, is apparently very good and critically acclaimed by those who’ve read samples) Dan steps up and takes credit for being the real author…which is exactly what the publishers wanted to happen. Now Dan’s got his scandalous book published with his name on it.

Only time will tell what his besties think of his work.

Blair Waldorf

Blair has the results of her paternity test in hand. Except she doesn’t want to know the answer. Chuck is unstable and Louis doesn’t want kids. Well, want it or not, you’re preggers and you owe it to the kid to know who the father is – is what Dorota and Dan tell her.

She finds out who the baby daddy is and it’s….Louis? I don’t believe it. Blair doesn’t believe it. And I’m pretty sure Chuck doesn’t believe it either. Since Blair keeps the paper with the paternity hidden, I’m assuming this lie is gonna come out when she walks down the aisle.

Diana Payne / Nate Archibald

So now we know why Diana is such a pain (hahahahahaha – I was just waiting to write that!). She is trying to be the next Gossip Girl. She wants her paper to replace Gossip Girl’s blog. And her first plan goes off pretty damn good actually.

She manages to manipulate Nate into revealing a scandal at the fashion show only she would have the evidence to (she took everyone’s phones at the door so no one could send Gossip Girl a heads up).

Nate, after realizing he was used, makes another bad decision and ends up going through all the guests’ phones for more gossip (although he has the sense to keep Dan and Blair’s phones hidden…why? Hmm…..).

They return the phones except one. Nate and Diana can’t figure out one of the guests at the party. Who the hell is Ivy?