I see dead dresses
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November 16th, 2011
It takes a pair of double D’s to bounce Gossip Girl back to the sexy, scheming scandals we all love. The double D’s being Diana Payne and Dorota, the ever loyal Waldorf maid.
Diana played Charlie, Nate and Serena like well-dressed pawns while Dorota pitted Blair against Chuck without anyone discovering her dressed in a super slick trench.
Find out how Diana ran her manipulations like a pro (and who she’s really working for) HERE, then read on for your full Gossip Girl 411.
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So how exactly did Diana manage to play Serena, Nate and Charlie? Three simple words: Max the chef. And what makes her the most diabolical schemer GG has ever had? (even more diabolical than the tag-team of Blair and Chuck?) The fact Max the chef didn’t even realize he was part of her plans at all!
First on the list – get Nate to come on to Charlie. Nate has developed a wandering eye since all Diana wants to do is work and sex, work and sex all day long (someone please remind me why Nate is complaining again? Why?) So he turns his attention to Charlie, who confuses the s**t out of him.
You see, Charlie’s pushing Nate away because Diana will kill her if she kisses him again (she kissed him last week as part of Blair’s bridesmaid Olympics). But she has no choice as it’s the only way to hide her face whenever her ex-boyfriend walks by her.
‘Cause that’s right – Max the chef is in town! And walking down the same street as Nate and Charlie! But that’s not the only person he runs into. He runs into Serena who takes one look at those baby blues and decides to help this random stranger find his way around NYC.
And she has a lot of time to do this as she’s just told Diana she won’t help her take down Gossip Girl. Get this – Serena has too much dignity for that. This is coming right after she agrees to go out for a night with Max after talking to him for less than 30 seconds…
But, Diana has all her pawns in place, so let the plotting begin!
FYI – everyone is wearing masks in this episode’s party, so it makes Diana’s manipulating of Serena, Charlie and Nate…like shooting fish in a barrel.
Move 1: Get Charlie to take Nate on a date
Move 2: Tell Max to go after the woman in the gold dress cause it’s Serena (it’s really Charlie)
Move 3: Have Serena stood up so Gossip Girl gossips about her again
Move 4: Tell Nate Charlie has a secret boyfriend
Move 5: Get Charlie to kiss “Nate” (it’s really Max)
Move 6: Get Nate all to herself once he realizes Charlie’s using him
Move 7: Fire Charlie to make her go ballistic and have Gossip Girl gossip about her
Move 8: Hire Serena again once she teams up with Diana to get revenge on Gossip Girl for Charlie
That’s a lot of scheming to go down in one episode, even by Gossip Girl standards. But the biggest twist comes at the end when we find out who Diana’s been getting her manipulations from: Nate Archibald’s grandfather!
The episode’s B plot involved Blair proving that Chuck was not a changed man. In order for Chuck to make her believe she choose the right man in Louis and finally (for the umpteenth time) move on, he let’s her win her little game with help from Dorota.
And in the episode’s C plot, Dan doesn’t want to go on his book tour because not a lot of people are showing up for his autographs. What a baby.
Next week, Serena throws Blair a bridal shower…and Dan shows up drunk like a fish:
Who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO.