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GG Episode 9: Rhodes to Perdition

November 30th, 2011

The gossip mill is practically drowning in all the Rhodes’ girls family drama! Cancer, anger, Max, lies, trust funds – you name it, it’s on the table. But we finally see a part of Charlie we’ve never seen before and, dare I say, it makes us want to root for her to stay “Charlie” all of a sudden!

And on top of the Charlie/Ivy scandal…Blair got the shock of her life when she tried to turn Louis into the man Chuck has become AND it’s the return of Tripp Vanderbilt!! Woo Whoo!

Catch up on what you missed HERE, then read on to find out why Studio 54 is still rocking at the van der Woodsens!

Let me get Dan out of the way because his story deserves about three sentences.

He’s upset nobody likes his book and creates a fake online profile to defend his book against his many, many haters. Turns out his publisher Alessandra is behind the “IHateDan” agenda and tells him it’s good press. Now, they’re tweeting/posting/dumping all they can on the internet about Dan’s book…oh, and they flirt like nobody’s business and get Katy Perry’s stamp of approval.

And that is Dan’s storyline in three sentences.

Moving on…

Blair finally gets the revelation she so sorely needed to hear all season. Blair decides to spend the day with Chuck to figure out how he turned good so she can use it on Louis…and Chuck lays it out for her. He apologized for his past transgressions, gave her his blessing, and returned her ring: in other words, he gave himself a Blair-Waldorf-detox.

No matter how many wedding cake samples she eats, this does not sit right with Blair. She realizes she brings out the worst in men (um yeah, that’s what manipulating people your whole life will do to you!) until Chuck chimes in with one last thing: he’s sorry he couldn’t have been the good guy earlier so they would be the ones planning their wedding.

So even after all of that…Chuck Bass still loves Blair Waldorf. Louis and Dan can suck it.

Speaking of sucking, Nate is the editor-in-chief of a major tabloid magazine. And he gets a huge applause from all his employees and the media industry at large….for NOT ratting out his cousin Tripp’s lying wife Maureen. Remember the Hudson Hero storyline from season three? Maureen was behind that. Now, she’s faking an affair to gain sympathy votes for Tripp as he runs for a State Senator job in Washington.

Nate instead hints at the scheme and earns his grandfather’s respect instead. Personally, we think he should have gone with making the scandal public.

Over to the van der Woodens…

Charlie and Carol need to print money faster than a Rhodes girl can spend it; Max wants his moolah and threatens to reveal “Ivy” to the van der Woodsens.

And the plot keeps getting thicker: Max, to show Ivy he can easily take her life away from her, is publicly dating her “cousin” Serena. Until Serena hears Lily and Carol fighting about how Carol treated Charlie; making her develop the “Ivy” persona.

So instead of calling out Max who probably knows the truth, she decides to blindside them both at their grandmother Cecelia’s party honouring her Serena-like partying days at Studio 54.

And thicker: So Max arrives, and Serena slams him and Charlie both for planning some secret conspiracy behind her back…but then two things happen. Lily brings up the “Ivy-persona-is-Carol’s-fault” idea that totally puts Ivy in the clear…and CeCe faints.

CeCe is trying to hide the fact she has cancer. Ivy knows the truth, but as her grandmother trusts her discretion, she keeps the secret and earns her place in the Rhodes family when everyone tries to figure out what’s wrong.

And even thicker: Charlie also manages to get rid of Max, saying he’s exactly the reason Carol made her create the Ivy persona, and he’s blackmailing her with a sex tape while trying to make one with Serena.

You heard it on Gossip Girl first guys: the lie to end all lies! Charlie is soooo good at being “Charlie”.

Max is cast out, Serena and Charlie are BFFs again, and Charlie tells Carol she can have her trust fund. All Charlie/Ivy ever wanted was a family, and now she’s got one.

After Serena forcing her to return to New York, Diana’s cruel harassment and Max’s blackmail (plus how nice she’s been to everyone else including Carol and CeCe) you sorta feel bad for Charlie now, don’t you? I do. And I’m glad she has a proper family now, even if it isn’t really hers.

And, apparently Carol did something even worse to the real Charlie. And I suspect she’s going to show up real soon.

Who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me. XOXO.
-Gossip Girl

Episode 8: All The Pretty Sources

Episode 7: The Big Sleep No More

Episode 6: I Am Number Nine

Episode 5: The Fasting And The Furious

Episode 4: Memoirs Of An Invisible Dan

Episode 3: The Jewel of Denial

Episode 2: Beauty And The Feast

Episode 1: Yes, Then Zero

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