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Gossip Girl Ep. 1: Gone Maybe Gone

October 9th, 2012

“Gossip Girl here” for the first of the final time. Tear. It’s the final season of Gossip Girl and that means things are about to get more dramatic than ever. Overdose, wedding, blackmail, sex pact and huge age gap in a relationship, anyone?

Find out what happened on this week’s Season 6 premiere of Gossip Girl under the jump!

Chuck and Blair are back to being Chuck and Blair in Monte Carlo. But only in Monte Carlo. They separate after spending a few days in bed and make a pact to fulfill their goals before getting back together. So this mess again.

Georgina travelled to Italy with Dan in order to help him write the tell-all book about the Upper East Side that he wanted to write with Inside. Yay, scenes in Italy! Oh nope, nevermind. This is the only one.

Back in New York, Nate is doing his best Sherlock Holmes impression in an attempt to figure out Gossip Girl’s identity by reviewing the security footage from Diana Payne’s party when Sabrina’s laptop was stolen. He’s interrupted when a Columbia student named Sage stops by for an interview about The Spectator. Sage was sent to Nate from his favourite journalism professor at Columbia, answering a question that has been plaguing GG fans for seasons – did anyone actually go to college? Ding, ding, we have a winner!

Speaking of Sabrina and her laptop, the socialite has fallen once again, this time landing on a train and overdosing. Ooo. Not even a first class cabin.

These two together still creep me out. Bart and Lily are back from the Hampton’s and apparently have not yet mastered email. Who gets this much mail?

Always the concerned parent, Lily spent the whole summer in the Hamptons with Bart and didn’t realize that Serena was missing. Who’s shocked? The same number of people Lily emails. Zero.

Now that Lily is home and realizes that her only daughter is off the grid, she calls the police! Oh nope, she calls Nate. He did go to one class at Columbia, afterall. Nate gets a hold of Blair, who has spent her summer in Paris with Jean Pierre, the head of her mother’s fashion line and now her fashion line.

Frantic, Blair calls Dan and instead is greeted by Georgina, who is excited that a missing Serena could spell a dramatic ending to Dan’s book.

Meanwhile, Chuck is in Dubai with his father’s translator because it was the site of his father’s final project before pretending to die. Amira, Bart’s translator, doesn’t think she has any information to give Chuck to take down his father. Turns out, she does. More on that later.

Nate, Blair and Chuck begin looking through Serena’s belongings for clues, but find nothing. Is Chuck smelling her clothes?

Nate loses his lead on discovering Gossip Girl’s identity when he trades the video with the famed blogger for information on Serena’s location. Georgina reaches out to everyone’s favourite drug dealer, Damien Dalgarde, who sent his guy to give Serena drugs on the train. Georgina and Dan jump on a plane home and follow a path that lead them to Blair, Chuck and Nate, who are also hot on Serena’s trail.

The fiercesome five find Serena in a mansion in upper state New York and discover she’s living under the name Sabrina and is in love with a guy named Steve. Oh, and I think she’s getting married.

Serena has made up an entirely new identity that includes her growing up in Wisconsin and attending Vassar University. When her newly concerned friends demand to know why she’s been hiding from them, Serena points out that Dan and Blair told her they never wanted to see her again and Chuck and Nate couldn’t be bothered to even send her a text. I don’t get to say this nearly enough with the Upper East Siders so here it goes – good point, Serena.

The wedding is about to start and Blair and Georgina decides they need to stop Serena from marrying Steve because, well, they really have no reason. Am I the only person who heads straight for the cake at weddings? Those look like two grooms to me. Annnnnnd I take the cake on this one. Serena and Steve’s best friends are getting married, not Serena and Steve.

Serena’s secret life is now out and Blair tries to apologize to Serena for being a terrible friend, but Blair has crossed S one too many times and Serena says good bye for the final time. Well, the final time in this episode.

Back on the Upper East Side, Lily pays Rufus a visit to see if Serena has been hiding in Brooklyn, and instead finds that Ivy has made herself at home in the loft. Rufus and Ivy are looking at a new gallery for Rufus to buy. So, are they like, you know…?

When Ivy is alone in the apartment, she calls Lola and congratulates her on booking a TV series with NBC (not the CW?). She also tells Lola she’s been manipulating Rufus. Who leaves voicemails like this?
Rufus goes to Ivy’s house like a chump and proceeds to have her again insult him and his life choices. Back at his loft, Ivy is excited to show Rufus the keys she picked up for the new gallery and decides to celebrate by jumping into bed with the elder Humphrey, a romp that is unfortunately witnessed by Dan.

What am I looking at? Is this in the revised edition of the Kama Sutra?

In his limo on the way back from Serena’s not-wedding, Chuck and Blair discuss their pact to not be together until Chuck takes down his father. Ugh. But Blair is wedding an engagement ring that is hidden on her necklace. We all know how well that worked for Carrie Bradshaw. Oh ya, it didn’t.

Chuck comes home to find Amira waiting for him. After Bart paid her a visit to warn her to keep her mouth shut, he paid her $10 million. Amira says that she doesn’t know what exactly Bart wants her to keep secret, but is willing to work with Chuck.

Nate heads back to the office to ceremoniously rip down all his potential lay outs for his breaking story on Gossip Girl’s identity.

Sage, from Columbia, is back and wants to take Nate for a drink.

Serena, who can’t seem to stay away from people who don’t care about her, brings Steven home to Lily’s apartment to show him where she really came from. Happy and in love, Serena declares that nothing can tear them apart. I beg to differ.

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