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Essential summer listening.
December 17th, 2012
The end of an era has arrived. Gossip Girl’s final episode has seen the light of day and the question we’ve been asking for six fashionable seasons has been answered. Find out who said ‘I do’, who said good-bye and who was really saying ‘xoxo’ all these years.
Bart has met his maker on the streets of Manhattan and Blair and Chuck are eager to escape. The police are checking every car, but with Georgina’s help they’re able to escape in the trunk of a limo.
They head straight to a small hotel in the country, but their secret hiding place is no match for Uncle Jack. The tracking device that he placed on Chuck’s car years before led him to the fugitives and he’s there to suggest an answer to their problem – get married.
As Chuck’s wife and the only witness to the crime, Blair won’t be able to testify against her husband. Blair is ready to say ‘I do’, but Chuck knows that she deserves to have her parents and Serena there and refuses a courthouse wedding. So it’s back to New York!
Jack gets busy enlisting the help of the equally conniving Georgina Sparks to round up Blair and Chuck’s family and friends.
Jack pulls Nate and Sage away from their project of unmasking Gossip Girl and bagging the story that is sure to save the Spectator.
Eleanor, Cyrus and Dorota are busy waiting for Blair’s return and rush to her side once they hear from Jack. Lily is being comfortable by William, who when approached by Ivy, pretends that their relationship never happened. Instead, he was using Ivy to get back into Lily’s arms, who he calls ‘the love of his life’. Most fairy tales don’t begin with prince charming sleeping with snow white’s enemy to get close to her. This must be the Upper East Side version.
Serena and Dan have been holed up together in his new apartment, which apparently doesn’t have cable yet. After reading the chapter on Serena that Dan snuck into her bag, she decided that she needed to get the real truth and nothing but from Dan before she left New York for good. So, Dan starts at the beginning.
At his first Upper East Side party, which he kinda crashed, Dan talked to Serena for the first time. And that was it. He was in love and would be forever.
Later, Dan overheard girls talking about Serena, with one saying that you’re nobody unless people are talking about you.
So that was it. Dan Humphrey became Gossip Girl! It was Dan who dubbed himself Lonely Boy. It was Dan, who at the request of Jenny, the only person who knew his identity, leaked the story about her with Chuck so that she could leave New York and start over. It was Dan who kept Serena in the spotlight and it was Dan who shut down Gossip Girl after paparazzi caused Blair and Chuck’s limo to crash, almost killing them.
But before anyone’s brain can possibly begin to process that it was Dan as Gossip Girl all this time (not Dorota – I know!), Georgina is fetching the two for their wedding party duties. Dan decides that instead of giving Blair and Chuck a gift, he’s giving one to Nate. Dan hands over his final chapter, the one that reveals himself as Gossip Girl, and gives Nate the story he needs to save the paper that he loves.
Nate sends Sage running back to The Spectator to post Dan’s words, this time with his real name at the top.
Everyone meets at the Met and is assigned a specific task. They regroup few minutes later, with Blair calling in a favour from Elie Saab for her beautiful gown.
Chuck apparently lost a bet that resulted in him wearing a white and baby blue tux.
The families have gathered and it’s time for Blair and Chuck to finally say ‘I do’. But with tips from eager socialites alerting the police to Chuck and Blair’s location, the two are taken into custody only seconds after their first kiss as man and wife.
While Cyrus works to get Blair and Chuck out of the slammer (what can be worse that going to jail in a white and baby blue tux?), the rest of the Upper East Siders gather at Blair’s apartment to read Dan’s admission. But they’re not the only ones!
Dan’s former bestie Vanessa.
Jenny’s former frenemy Agnes Andrews.
Even Mayor Bloomberg was shocked!
And Gossip Girl’s voice herself, Kristen Bell, who is busy running lines with Rachel Bilson.
Cyrus and his lawyer-ing work and Chuck and Blair are released from jail. Lily and Eleanor have gone out to pick up the necessary nibblies for a wedding reception, giving Blair time to scream at Dan for all the damage he’s caused at Gossip Girl. But when Chuck and Serena come to Dan’s defense, Blair realizes that Gossip Girl wasn’t their enemy, but the person that pushed them to become the people they are today.
But who are they five years later?
Back in the Waldorf apartment, everyone is gathered for a ceremony. A newspaper shows an ad for a new film based on the autobiography written by Ivy Dickens and starring Lola Rhodes and Olivia Burke (Hilary Duff’s character).
Eric and Jenny are home to see their siblings perform the ceremony we’ve been waiting for.
William and Lily, who are back in love, and Rufus, with his new love, Lisa Loeb, are also there!
Nate has made millions as the owner of The Spectator and may run for mayor.
Georgina and Jack have made an evil couple together.
Blair and Chuck have made a super cute little boy named Henry.
And Dan and Serena?
They have made each other husband and wife!
Taking a cue from Sex and the City and ending Gossip Girl’s final episode with the song You’ve Got The Love, all of our favourite characters get their ending, and Gossip Girl turned Lonely Boy is lonely no more.
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