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Bring on the LOLZ
February 6th, 2012
Blair and Dan try to flee the country while the rest of the Upper East Side search for the runaway bride. Find out what happened on tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl after the jump!
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Blair has fled her wedding reception, but has forgotten to tell, like, anyone that she was leaving! Okay, maybe she didn’t forget, but Serena and Chuck scour the building trying to find the runaway bride and come up empty handed. Anyone else notice Madonna’s Like a Virgin playing during the dance? Is that to remind us that Blair shouldn’t be wearing white at her wedding?
Anywho, unlike Serena and Chuck, Louis hasn’t noticed that his bride is missing. His mother, Sophie, has noticed and wants him to slip out the back so that the paparazzi don’t seem him leaving alone.
Chuck gets a call from the security desk at the Empire telling him that Blair is in his room. Off to the Empire! But the paparazzi have clogged the streets. Nate is still trying to make something happen with Lola and even goes to the point of manual labour! Omigawd, he’s in love. Lola agrees to help the three musketeers escape in her delivery van through a side street. I think she was tired of lifting Nate’s share of the dishes.
Chuck, Serena, Nate and Lola arrive at Chuck’s apartment to find Georgina, not Blair. Hooooow bad does that hurt for Chuck? Ouch.
Meanwhile, Dan and Blair are somehow able to remain inconspicuous in their Rolls Royce and hatch out a plan. Like Elizabeth Taylor, Blair wants to run off to the Dominican Republic and get a divorce without Louis. Dan agrees to help her with the plan and points out that knowing this fact about the Dominican is probably a big enough sign that Blair should have stopped the wedding. Dan and Blair head to the airport, but she quickly realizes that having your face splashed over every newspaper and walking around anywhere but a church in a tiara and Vera Wang wedding dress isn’t the best way to go undercover.
Blair picks up what I would consider a cute outfit for vegging out at home and Dan is able to secure her a seat on the plane.
But, without her passport, Blair ain’t goin nowhere. And apparently the New York Post picture of her with Louis isn’t enough of a ‘passport’. Totally unacceptable. What is this country coming to?
Blair calls Dorota to bring her passport and Dan calls Rufus to stall Louis’ family from looking for Blair at the airport.
Dan’s phone rings again, but this time it’s Serena. He lies and says that he’s still at the reception and saw Blair and Louis leave together. When Serena presses him for a response to her declaration of love, Dan pretends he has to use the bathroom. I can understand if it was number two. Sometimes you just don’t have time to say ‘I Love You’ or in Blair’s case, I Heart New York.
Eleanor and Sophie are invited back to the Humphries apartment and Sophie tries to gently ask Eleanor about Blair’s whereabouts. When that doesn’t work, she comes right out and says that Blair has fled and if the marriage contract isn’t fulfilled, the dowry promised in Blair and Louis’ prenup will be enacted. Eleanor would have to sell her company to pay for whatever this 18th century monstrosity covers. Yikes. You’d think that since Cyrus is a lawyer he may have circled this item with a red pen.
Serena, Chuck and Nate want Georgina out of their lives and when Georgina receives a text that Dorota was seen at Blair’s apartment, she makes a beeline for the Waldorf’s. Meanwhile, Dan and Blair are waiting for Dorota at the airport when a newscast showing a distraught Louis comes on every TV in a 100 mile radius. Louis tells the media that Blair is a missing person and when the other passengers start to take her picture, Dan and Blair decide it’s time to head for high ground. Or a hotel in Queens.
For people that are so rich they have the absolute worst security systems in place. Georgina walks into Blair’s apartment to find Dorota packing for Blair.
Georgina locks Dorota in the closet until Chuck and Serena rescue her there and find out that Blair is at the airport with Dan, but that their cover was blown and they’re heading to a hotel.
Meanwhile, Nate is still at Chuck’s place hanging out with Lola. They’re having a great time until Nate hears Lola on the phone with her mom and lies that it was her boss. Nate makes an excuse about being tired and Lola leaves. Tear.
Because Manhattan is apparently made up of 10 people, Lola heads back to work, which means delivering flower arrangements from the wedding to the Humphries. Lily recognizes her and the two begin talking. Lola admits she was on a date with a Nate and Lily decides to play re-match maker and call Nate to give Lola a second chance.
When Nate shows up at the St. Regis to tell Lola that her lie scared him off, she admits that her mother is over-protective. Lola’s mom thinks she’s in school in Michigan and not trying to be an actress in New York. That’s a pretty big lie! Nate wants to go on a real date with Lola, but she’s not ready for his world. I’d also like to take this time to point out that Lola is wearing the highest heels I’ve ever seen on someone working a catering job. Kudos to you, Charlotte Rhodes.
In the hotel room, Blair starts yelling at Dan about their crappy accommodations. Pushed to the edge, Dan snaps back and says that he’s been a great friend to Blair and she’s done nothing but criticize him.
Serena and Chuck somehow find Dan and Blair and burst in. Dan leaves and is replaced by Georgina, who followed Chuck and Dan. Serena drops her purse, exposing Georgina’s camera. That means Serena sent the video in to Gossip Girl! Blair is hurt, but Serena says she did it for Chuck and Blair AND that Blair didn’t consider Serena’s feelings for Dan when she ran off with him. Well played, S.
Sophie, who also somehow knows where Blair is hiding, shows up at the hotel and tells Blair that her mother will lose her company to pay for the dowry if Blair doesn’t stay married to Louis.
Alone, Chuck again tries to convince Blair to run away with him. He promises to pay for her dowry and buy her freedom. But Blair wants them to be equals and refuses his offer. She does say that maybe they can be together in the future. Whoopty doo. Blair, you crazy. Take Chuck’s offer and get the heck outta dodge.
Serena finds Dan in the hotel bar (which looks pretty nice, btw Blair) and confronts him about lying to her about Blair and about not answering her question on how he feels about her. Dan stammers around a bit and finally, finally, finally Serena gets the message and realizes that Dan isn’t in love with her.
Blair finds Dan alone in the bar and apologizes for being such a bad friend. Blair says that she knows Dan wrote the vows and is touched by how he sees her. She thanks him for all his help and asks that he be there for her in the future. When exactly is she there for him? Just saying.
Eleanor goes home to find Louis in the hallway and tells him that she will not let him take her daughter away. But Blair has made up her mind and is going to sacrifice a year of being married to Louis so that her mother won’t lose her company.
Back at Chuck’s apartment, Chuck tells Serena he’s shocked she sent in the video. Serena grabbed the camera in the church thinking that she was covering for Chuck.
So if Serena didn’t send the video and Chuck didn’t send the video than who did? Georgina, who admits she only took over Gossip Girl after Serena revealed the sources, knows who really sent in the video.
And now so do we.
Episode 13: G.G.
Episode 12: Father and the Bride
Episode 11: The End of The Affair?
Episode 10: Riding In Town Cars With Boys
Episode 9: Rhodes to Perdition
Episode 8: All The Pretty Sources
Episode 7: The Big Sleep No More
Episode 6: I Am Number Nine
Episode 5: The Fasting And The Furious
Episode 4: Memoirs Of An Invisible Dan
Episode 3: The Jewel of Denial
Episode 2: Beauty And The Feast
Episode 1: Yes, Then Zero