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April 2nd, 2012
It’s been a month since we’ve heard from Manhattan’s elite and that’s given them more than enough time to prepare a whole new list of enemies, frenmies and bed-buddies. Find out who’s scheming, who’s shaking up and who’s still rocking the suits (hurray for Nate and Chuck!).
It’s been a month since we’ve heard from our favourite Upper East Siders and Blair and Dan have spent the last four weeks trying to find five private minutes. Thinking they finally had their chance, Blair surprises Dan in an outfit that’s a little more Lower East Side.
Unfortunately, Rufus and Lily are still living with Dan and they invited William over for brunch to discuss getting Ivy’s name off Cece’s will.
When the adults finally leave the loft, Dan and Blair try to get down to business, only to have their West Side Story love making drowned out by car alarms.
Sorry Blair, this isn’t a palace in Monaco.
Far away from the sounds of car alarms and his ex trying to have sex with someone else, Chuck has invited his Uncle Jack to New York to thank him for saving his life with his blood donation. This kind of thank you gift can only really be given with grand gestures, such as high end prostitutes and a hospital wing naming.
The Lola/Nate thing is still happening as is Serena’s quest to make Lola a part of the family. Serena wants to interview Lola for her Spectator column about Ivy, but unlike Serena, Lola doesn’t want her private life put in the news. Lola tells Nate that she’s still unsure of whether she wants to be a part of her family, so Nate suggest she talk to her Uncle William.
Carol is blackmailing William and trying to get him to figure out a way to get her inheritance back from Ivy or else she’ll tell the family that he’s really Lola’s father.
In an attempt to keep his children from hating him for cheating on their mother with her sister, William visits Ivy, who is trying desperately to spend Cece’s money, but is being blacklisted by the Upper East Side in support of Serena and Lily. William promises that he can help Ivy throw a party to get in the Upper East Side’s good graces as long as he gives her a cut of the will.
Lola goes to the Empire Hotel to visit William and instead sees him walking in with Ivy. She overhears their conversation about William helping Ivy get in good graces with the Upper East Side for a price. Lola tells Nate what she overheard and he explains that as the executor of the Will, if William accepts Ivy’s money he could nullify the will. Then Nate turns around and immediately tells Serena. What a vault.
Meanwhile, Serena has received Gossip Girl’s computer with a note from the infamous blogger telling Serena to use the contents carefully. Serena decides to post Ivy’s invite to her partying honouring Cece in Lily’s old apartment and times a blast to go live at 8 pm exposing Ivy as bribing Serena’s father.
Busy body Nate is doing a lot of talking today and that includes telling Chuck that Nate’s reporter, who is doing a story on Jack’s new hospital wing, uncovered information that would make it impossible for Jack to have donated the blood needed to save Chuck’s life. Chuck asks his shady uncle about the blood and receives a shady answer.
Unhappy with Jack’s lack of information, Chuck goes back to the hospital where he was treated and talks to a nurse who has working the night of the accident. She tells Chuck there is no record of him ever being a patient, but there is a record of Jack, though she can’t divulge other patients personal information. Chuck waits for her to leave the desk and somehow cracks the computer code instantly and finds Jack’s file, which list him as having Hepatitis C, meaning he can’t give blood. Whoever did donate blood to Chuck also gave him amazing computer hacking abilities.
Rufus decides that he and Lily need some privacy, but rather than getting his high-maintenance wife a hotel room he instead springs for nicer digs for Dan and Blair. Finally, their moment in the sheets has come.
Lonely boy and B are going to get-it-on. Annnnd we’re done.
Dan and Blair rush out of the hotel room faster than you can say ‘Barney’s is having a sale’ and proceed to find words of comfort and full glasses of alcohol with Dorota and Nate, respectively.
Both secondary parties tell Blair and Dan to trying talking to each other, but neither wants to hurt the other person’s feelings.
Dan and Blair, drunk as skunks, meet up in the lobby of now Ivy’s apartment building and pretend that everyone is fine.
On a slow elevator ride up to the party the two let the alcohol do the talking and admit their first time together was disappointing.
Using liquid courage, Blair pulls the emergency stop and the two get it right the second time. And then the third time in a cab. And then the fourth time in a bathroom. You get the idea.
At the party, Lily fills Serena in on her plan with William to get the Will changed and Serena promises to not do anything that will scare Ivy off giving William the bribe. Unfortunately, Serena’s Gossip Girl blast blasting Ivy as giving bribes is released before Ivy gives William the cheque. How long have you been Gossip Girl, Serena? An hour? Obviously an hour too long.
Ivy is upset that everyone is against her and promises that Lily will never get a cent of Cece’s money. But Lola, who has decided to be a contributing part of the plotting family, speaks up and tells everyone that she heard Ivy offer William the bribe. The Van Der Woodsens are now ready to take Ivy to court and until everything is worked out with lawyers, Ivy’s assets are frozen.
But it’s not all good news for Serena. Nate had promised a potential investor in The Spectator that his newspaper always gets the first and the best scoops. But when Serena sent out the blast about Ivy on Gossip Girl instead of The Spectator, the investor pulled out and Nate decided it was time to pull Serena’s name from his employee list.
To finish kicking a girl when she’s down, Gossip Girl messages Serena and tells her she’s fired from that job as well and to return the laptop.
Later than night, Nate is about to apologize to Lola for sharing her information about William with Serena, but he’s interrupted by a phone call from his lawyer saying he found a new investor that can keep The Spectator afloat – Diana Payne.
Intent on getting to the bottom of his mystery blood donation, Chuck changes the ribbon cutting ceremony that will name a wing in the hospital after Jack into a blood drive. Jack can no longer pretend that he donated the blood that saved Chuck’s life. That Bass is crafty.
Back at the Empire, Jack admits that it was Elizabeth, the woman who said she was Chuck’s mom and then said she wasn’t Chuck’s mom, who donated the blood. Jack parts on good terms with Chuck, but Chuck still isn’t satisfied and calls his private eye to find Elizabeth. I still don’t get why there was no record of Chuck at the hospital, especially since the nurse remembered treating him.
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