Gossip Girl Ep. 2: High Infidelity

October 16th, 2012

Nate and Serena realize their new relationships are connected, Blair’s past as a bully catches up to her, Chuck tries to take down his father and Dan finds a publisher for his tell-all. Find out what happened on tonight’s brand new episode of Gossip Girl!

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Nate has spent the week sleeping with the Columbia journalism student, Sage. She has a lot of energy. Oh youth. More on this later.

Unfortunately for Dan, he had to find a new place to sleep after catching his dad with Ivy and Georgina’s apartment seemed to be his only option. Yikes.

His week goes from awkward to bad to worse when he’s dropped by his agent and his new book gets rejected. Georgina, in her all black attire, is still optimistic that they can find a magazine to publish part of Dan’s book and then turn that into a book and then movie deal.

Now that he’s lost the story on exposing Gossip Girl and her identity, Nate calls Dan and offers to publish his book in The Spectator, but since Dan is letting Georgina handle the business side of his book, he tells Nate to call her. Georgina, no big surprise, ignores Nate’s call.

Georgina has set up a number of meetings with the biggest magazine publishers in New York and they all love Dan’s book, but will only publish a section of it if he agrees to give everyone fake names. Does that even really matter? What is that difficult to guess that Serena was Sabrina and Chuck Bass was Charlie Trout in Dan’s first book?

Refusing to compromise his artistic integrity (is exposing everyone who has ever been mean to you really art?), Dan decides to take Nate’s offer and let his friend publish his book in The Spectator. Nate is shocked by the graphic details Dan includes in the first page alone, but knows that this is the only way to get The Spectator on the map. Well, at least on The Map with the Upper East Side, because who else knows who these people are?

Chuck and Amira have spent a week going over Bart’s files in an attempt to find out what about his Dubai hotel deal forced him to fake his own death, but so far they’ve found nothing. Amira is ready to fly home, but Chuck convinces her to make one more attempt and join him for brunch with Bart and Lily in an attempt to rattle his father.

Chuck and Amira pose as a couple and Chuck attempts to drop names to rattle his father, who in turn states that Amira is smart enough to not discuss her business and risk her life. As usual, Lily is oblivious to her new-old husband making death threats. Amira decides to take her Danish to go, but before she can leave, Bart catches her in the hallway and threatens to hurt her if she doesn’t leave town, saying that ‘their weekend together has already cost him enough.’ Also, I hope they have enough Danishes for the four people who collectively weight 300 pounds.

Lily overhears the conversation and tells Chuck that his new girlfriend is just using him to get to his father, who she had an affair with. Lily asks Bart whether he had an affair with Amira, and he admits that he spent a weekend with her paid her to stay quiet. $10 million seems like a lot of hush money. Shocked, (really Chuck? Your dad gets around) Chuck confronts Amira back in his apartment and demands to know the details. He holds her $10 million ransom in his safe until Amira figures out the real reason Bart wants to keep her quiet.

But as usual, Bart outsmarts Chuck and calls his son, pretending that Blair needs him. With Chuck out of the apartment, Bart gives Amira her money and sends her home to Dubai. Before she left, Amira left Chuck a note and a security camera picture of herself with Bart and another man in Dubai. Could this guy be the key to Bart’s secret? I hope so. These shenanigans have gone on foooorever.

Serena is still in lurrrve with new boyfriend Steven, who somehow made her head of the board for the Central Park Conservatory.

Serena is throwing a gala that night for the board and meets up with Nate for a quick coffee date. Unfortunately, both of their days are ruined when they spot Steven and Sage on a date-date.

Tired of women playing games with him, Nate calls Sage and breaks up with her on voicemail. Serena, hoping there is another explanation (and not possibly the ability to be single), decides to pretend as if everything is fine.

Blair is excited to be interviewed about her first line for Waldorf fashions by Women’s Wear Daily. Dorota redid the Waldorf’s apartment to reflect Blair’s taste, including a show room for her mother’s fashion line and a brand new office. Seems a little out of the job description, but I’ll go with it.

No one from the Waldorf team wanted to leave Paris and follow Blair to New York, so she’s gone back to 2008 and hired her Constance minions to pretend to be her seamstresses. Too bad the Women’s Wear Daily journalist is Nelly Ukie, who recognizes her former classmates as stand-ins and is one of the many, many girls Blair bullied at Constance. Amazing.

In Nelly’s article, Blair’s new line will be compared to socialite Poppi Lifton, whose bad blood with Blair goes back to Blair exposing Poppi as a thief. Blair sends her minions to stake out Poppi’s fashion line, which turns out to look just like hers. Poppi is going to unveil her line at Serena’s event that night for the Central Park Conservatory and once Blair gets over the shock of not knowing Serena was back in New York, she decides to crash the party.

Blair sends her minions to steal Poppi’s clothes from her models and report back to Blair at the party. Unfortunately, Nelly and Poppi are both within earshot and catch Blair being, well, Blair. Nelly decides to write the article only on Poppi.

Blair decides to start the line over and work around the clock to get a new line ready for fashion week. Thankfully for her, Blair has Dorota, who hires real seamstresses and designers to make the line.

Back at the party, Nelly sees her old schoolmate Dan and chastises him for still wanting to be a part of the Upper East Side. She also seems to be checking him out. New couple alert? Probably not. Dan is still pining over Blair like a chump.

Serena is trying to put on a brave face in light of her boyfriend cheating, but that becomes increasingly difficult when Sage shows up. She sends Nate over to Sage to tell her to leave, but when Nate and Sage begin kissing, Steven sees them and punches Nate! This seems unreasonable, until we find out that Sage is Steven’s 17 year old daughter. Ohhhhhhh.

Serena is furious with Steven for not telling her that he had a daughter and Steven points out that he called her Sabrina from Wisconsin for the first two months of their relationship. Good point.

Serena is able to convince Steven to let Sage see Nate, but when they drop her off at Constance the next day (she is in high school – this is too weird), Sage tells her friends that she plans on taking Serena down.