Bring on the LOLZ
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April 16th, 2012
Serena’s status as Gossip Girl is discovered, Nate and Lola’s relationship is in jeopardy, Dan and Blair throw their official coming out party as a couple and Chuck learns some shocking news about who donated blood to save his life after the accident.
Find out what happened on this week’s episode of Gossip Girl under the jump!
Rufus and Lily are still living apart and Dan encourages his dad to head home to the Upper East Side. Rufus thinks that he’s been lying to himself all these years with Lily and has lost what’s important to him and instead spent all his time doing what Lily wanted.
Lily goes to see Rufus in Brooklyn and after a week apart she decides that they should sell the apartment and get a place together as a couple. It took her a whole week? Rufus agrees to move back home so that the couple can begin apartment hunting.
But before their happy reunion can begin, Lily gets a call from the Soho to confirm Rufus’ credit card number. He’s been paying for Ivy Dickens to stay in the hotel. Eeks.
Rufus admits that he felt it was wrong to leave Ivy homeless, especially since he was the one who convinced her to move out of Lily’s apartment. Lily is enraged and tells Rufus that she won’t use her own money to pay for Ivy. Realizing that she still sees their shared bank account as hers, Rufus confirms that he used a personal account to pay for Ivy and leaves again.
Blair and Dan have settled comfortably into their Dair status and are ready to plan their first public outing as a couple.
Dan seems to have won the coin toss because their day starts off with lunch in Brooklyn. Blair is concerned that they won’t survive as a couple if Dan wants to stay in Brooklyn while she wants to remain in the Upper East Side. A couple that are the ‘Brad and Angelina’ of New York overhear Dan and Blair and agree to eat lunch with them and discuss how they make their relationship work.
That’s where Dan and Blair get the idea for a Salon to combine their two worlds. They decide to hold one in Dan’s apartment that night and invite all the intellectuals they know, which doesn’t include Nate, Serena, Lola or Chuck. Fair enough.
Director Lars Von Trier has requested Lola for an audition after seeing her on Gossip Girl. Serena helps Lola pick out an outfit for her big audition and takes the opportunity to point out that Gossip Girl isn’t talking about Lola anymore. Lola doesn’t mind since, as she points out, Gossip Girl is irrelevant.
Lola arrives to her big audition only to find out that it’s been cancelled after the directors read a blast posted by Gossip Girl, saying that Lola is a diva who thinks directors are irrelevant. Wow, Serena.
You’re getting exponentially more evil with each episode. For the person who pushed so hard to get Lola to act like family, Serena is doing everything she can to risk losing her cousin forever.
When Lola reads the blast the word ‘irrelevant’ sticks out since she had used only hours ago to describe Gossip Girl. Lola begins putting the pieces together and thinks that Serena is Gossip Girl, but when she tells Nate he tells her to drop the idea. Gossip Girl has been awful to Serena over the years and Nate can’t believe that it’s really Serena on the other side of the computer screen.
Nate looks upset when he gets to work and unloads on Diana, who perks up when she hears that Chuck is on a mission.
She excuses herself and calls Jack Bass, telling him that they need to stop Chuck. Is she his mom or what?
Before she can finish her phone call, Diana gets a text from Gossip Girl telling Diana to get the site back from Serena or else she’ll tell everyone the secret that made Diana afraid of Gossip Girl from the start. So, she’s Chuck’s mom?
Diana pays Serena a visit at home and offers her a deal to keep her identity as Gossip Girl a secret if Serena agrees to help Diana.
Serena says she’ll think about the offer and when she gets to Diana’s office later that afternoon she overhears Diana talking to Jack Bass. Diana tells Jack that she’s close to making a deal with Serena that will ensure no one ever knows what Diana did for Chuck at the hospital. SO SHE IS CHUCK’S MOM!
Even though she’s Gossip Girl and will believe anything people send her as tips, Serena thankfully decides to actually get evidence to support to bomb she just heard dropped. At the hospital where Chuck was taken after the accident, Serena finds the nurse who was working that night and shows her a picture of Diana. The nurse confirms that it was Diana who donated the blood to save Chuck. How convenient that she was working and remembered a patient she saw months ago.
When Lola goes to Serena’s apartment to accuse her of being Gossip Girl, she instead overhears Dan and Blair talking about their salon and having Dan announce his second book as a big surprise. Lola steals Dorota’s cell phone and sends the tip into Gossip Girl, hoping to catch Serena in the act.
It’s time for Dan and Blair’s coming out party and everything is going well, at least for the first ten minutes.
That is until Serena crashes, Lola crashes, and Nate and Chuck crash together after Lola invites them. Dan and Blair, mostly Blair, are distraught, but they manage to pull themselves together. That is until there is an ice crisis and they have to run out to get more stock.
Serena sees Diana Payne enter the party (she was actually invited) and follows her into Dan’s room to confront Diana about her real identity as Chuck’s mother. Lola takes the opportunity to look through Serena’s phone and finds an app that uploads videos to Gossip Girl’s site. Lola begins filming Serena and Diana’s conversation and unfortunately can’t stop the video in time.
Now the whole world knows that Diana really is Chuck’s mother.
The Salon is officially a disaster and the party guests begin to leave before their hosts have time to return with the ice. Nate can’t believe that Lola would hurt Chuck like that, but Lola keeps silent and doesn’t tell Nate that Serena is definitely Gossip Girl. Serena thanks her cousin for doing something we all know she wouldn’t have done if the roles were reversed. I think this is the end of Nate and Lola and Serena and Lola.
Later that night, Lola returns the dress she borrowed from Serena for her audition and tells her new ‘family’ member that she’s leaving the Upper East Side and returning to her life at Julliard, as if that’s a step down. It’s freaking Julliard!
Blair, as usual, is overreacting that she and Dan can’t be together because their coming out party was a disaster. Dan tells Blair they can make it work and they decide to stop thinking of two different worlds and just focus on their relationship. Well, duh.
Diana shows up at Chuck’s apartment and offers an explanation.
She had an affair with Chuck’s father while he was married to Elizabeth and ended up becoming pregnant with Chuck. She was young and scared and Elizabeth couldn’t have children, so the Bass’ raised Chuck as their own. But Elizabeth couldn’t bear to raise a child that wasn’t hers biologically, so she disappeared and Bart pretended she had died to save Chuck from feeling abandoned.
Diana explains that she came back for Chuck, but Bart worried it would be too confusing for his young son. She apologizes for sleeping with Nate (that’s taken on a new ickyness factor) and says that she wants to be a part of his life.
Well, the mystery of Chuck’s mother is finally solved after five seasons. Hurray! Oh, wait, what does that text that Diana just received say?
Dun, dun, dunnnnnnn.
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