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Gossip Girl Ep. 3: Dirty Rotten Scandals

October 22nd, 2012

Blair’s first fashion show gets a streaker, Serena tries to play nice with Sage, Nate learns why he shouldn’t have mixed business and friendship with Dan and Chuck gets closer to discovering his father’s secret. Find out what happened on this week’s brand new episode of Gossip Girl!

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New York fashion week has come and gone and Blair still is working day and night to ensure that her debut fashion line is perfect. Her right hand man Jean Pierre is back and is ready to help Blair make the Waldorf line stand out by not being a part of the biggest fashion event of the year. I don’t know much about fashion, but this seems one peplum skirt short of a good idea. When their ‘it’ girl Charlotte Casiraghi bails, Blair needs to find a new girl to base her show around and Jean Pierre suggests Serena. You can guess how that goes.

Before Blair can figure out a plan for her show, she passes out from severe exhaustion and dehydration. So, she didn’t have time to eat, but she did have time to pick out that terrible headband. The woman needs better priorities.

Ordered to stay in bed until her show that night, Dorota calls in Chuck to help get everything ready for Blair’s big debut. Of course, the man with the bowtie knows all about fashion and is able to pull off a miracle and make Blair’s vision come to life.

Serena and Steven are working the happy family angle at the breakfast table, but Sage is making it very clear that she wants nothing to do with their upcoming Christmas card shoot. Steven suggest that he and Serena take a break until Sage stops acting like a jerk, but Serena insists that she can build a friendship with the 17 year old.

For some reason, Serena can’t smell Sage’s sarcasm and begins to think the two girls can actually be friends. When Serena takes a call from Blair asking her to be in her fashion show, Sage ditches her future step mother and hops in a cab, leaving a string of bar bills for Serena to pay off.

When Serena finally finds Sage at home, the teenager has lied to her father, telling him that Serena agreed to give Sage the chance to walk in Blair’s fashion show that night.

Desperate to get her friend back, Blair reluctantly agrees to let the unknown Sage walk in her show as long as Serena agrees to sit front and centre and ooh and aah over the collection. Can we take a moment and discuss in what world you would seat Natalie Portman behind Kimora Lee Simmons? HELLO?

Dan has moved out of Georgina’s apartment and is now staying with Nate and Chuck, which shouldn’t be awkward at all. It’s d-day for Dan’s first article in The Spectator and Nate tries to convince Dan to speak to today’s target, but Dan disagrees.

Apparently the target was none other than Rufus and his relationship with Ivy, who thinks that Rufus should sue his son for libel.

Ivy leaks this idea to Gossip Girl, in turn terrifying Nate that he’s going to lose his newspaper over the article.

Dan, who isn’t worried at all, talks to Rufus and tells his father to back off with the lawsuit. Rufus agrees, but is upset with the person his son is turning into. I’m upset with the haircut his son continues to sport.

At the fashion show, Nate runs into one of his advertisers, who is ecstatic with the numbers that Dan’s article pulled into The Spectator. When Nate encourages her to advertise during Dan’s next story, she informs him that she already is – with Vanity Fair.

Nate finds Dan in a bar and demands to know why he is leaving The Spectator for Vanity Fair. For Dan it’s simple – more money. So much for friendship. After Nate somehow stops himself from punching Dan, Nelly Ukie shows up and offers Dan her place to crash.

She totally likes him! Dan considers it for a split second, until an attractive brunette offers to buy him a drink and Dan accepts. He’s totally an ass!

Meanwhile, Chuck is still on his quest to take down his father. He was able to locate Dave Berger, the man in the picture with Bart and Amira. Chuck offers Dave a bag full of money to find out what his father’s former bodyguard knows, which includes the name Lady Alexander. And that’s it.

At the fashion show, Serena is livid that Blair has seated Steven three rows behind her. Come on! With the millions of fashion shows Serena has been invited to, she would know that the front row is only for the big names. Serena makes a huge fuss over Blair’s seating plan and does this right in front of Nelly Ukie, who is there to try to cover Blair’s line – again.

It’s time for the show to start and everything is going perfectly until Sage, who in my Tyra-opinion has a terrible walk, gets to the end of the runway and pulls off her clothes, standing in front of a row of camera’s in her underwear.

Thinking that Blair put her up to the stunt, Serena stands up and makes a grandstand speech about exploitation and walks off, with the rest of the fashion elite following her.

Alexa Chung, who is also there to model, refuses to continue with the show. So, we’re supposed to believe that Blair decided to use Sage instead of Alexa Chung as her ‘it’ girl? No.

Blair and Serena begin screaming at one another outside of the venue until they finally realize that the Victoria Secret show was all Sage’s idea.

Back at Steven’s apartment, Sage tries to blame the whole thing on Serena, but Steven finally shows that there is actually something between his ears and calls his daughter out on her lies. She pretends to apologize to Serena and later vows to break the couple up when her father leaves the room. Never one to back down from a mean girl, Serena tells her to bring it. This is gonna get messier than a 17 year-old exposing herself at a fashion show.