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Gossip Girl Ep. 5: Monstrous Ball

November 13th, 2012

On tonight’s brand new episode of Gossip Girl, Blair takes advantage of her new designer label, Dan tries to relive his past romances, Nate sees the real Sage, Chuck’s master plan hits a speed bump and Serena finds that she can’t outrun her past.

Find out what happened on tonight’s brand new episode of Gossip Girl after the jump! Watch new episodes of Gossip Girl’s final season every Monday at 9E/6P on MUCH.

Sage is getting ready for her cotillion and Steven invites Serena, which of course upsets Sage. Upsetting Serena is Steven’s inability to notice that she is still alive and breathing…and wearing hot shirts.

Blair wants people to stop thinking of her fashion line as overtly sexual after Sage’s performance and makes an over the top conservative dress. Dan tells Blair to stop trying to fight her raunchy side. Knowing exactly which 17 year old can help her save a multi-million dollar fashion line (seriously?), Blair finds Sage and offers to create a provocative dress for her cotillion, but Sage dismisses the designer and continues being a total pain in the ass.

Georgina has come Blair’s apartment to collect Dan’s latest chapter for the magazine, but he keeps telling her that it’s not done.

When finally leaves, Dorota asks Dan whether he’s seen Blair since she forgot her lucky charm, a HUGE engagement ring from Chuck. Dan decides that his next chapter is ready, but this time it’s about Chuck, not Blair. I’m sure the ring had EVERYTHING to do with that decision.

Chuck still needs concrete evidence on Bart to go to the police and prove that his father was committing a federal offence. Nate suggests that Chuck cook the numbers in order to get Bart arrested. Shouldn’t someone that is trying to keep his own number-bending a secret not suggest it to another person? Instead of going to jail himself, Chuck goes to Lily for help on taking down Bart.

Chuck finds Lily shopping (shocker), but she doesn’t want to speak to Chuck and risk him using her again to hurt Blair. Ivy, who is spending her millions taking down Lily and dating an old dude instead of buying her own island, rolls up in a cab at a most opportune time and makes an alliance with Chuck.

Ivy suggests that Chuck plant evidence in Lily and Bart’s apartment to make it look like Chuck and Lily are still talking in order to rile Bart. Chuck has been banned from the building, but Ivy kept one of the key cards before she was banished to Brooklyn and offers to plant the evidence for Chuck.

Ivy’s plan backfires when Bart walks in and finds her planting evidence, so she poses as the daughter of a cleaning lady and tells Bart that Miss Lily wanted her to pick up Bart’s will for her to look over.

Rufus is trying to open a new gallery, but the expenses are piling up. After an anonymous buyer makes a purchase on one of his pieces before the gallery even opens, Rufus does some digging and finds that Ivy was behind the big buy. He begins looking through her mail and finds a bank account statement putting Ivy’s worth in the millions. When confronted, Ivy admits that Lola gave her the money Cece promised on her death bed.

Frustrated that Steven is ignoring her, Serena asks Nate for advice. Wait, she’s asking the adult man who is taking his girlfriend to her cotillion for help? He’s the source of advice? She’d get better tips from her shoes.

Serena decides to follow the route of Nate’s ex-girlfriends and goes snooping in Steven’s computer bag, digging up another GIANT engagement ring, which Sage finds about two seconds later.

Sage confronts Steven about the engagement ring and he tells her that he’s going to propose to Serena that night after he talks to Lily.

Serena tells Lily the good news and Lily confirms Steven intentions by admitting that he called Lily and asked to speak with her later. Serena is excited, but Lily is still a bit worried that her daughter is too young and that she is still in love with Dan. Serena admits that she thought they would get back together, but after her last huge falling out with Dan, she knows they can’t be together.

Knowing that her father intends to propose, Sage comes to Blair with her own proposal. She’ll wear Blair’s dress if Blair helps her take down Serena and stop Steven from proposing to her. Blair agrees to delay the proposal if Sage keeps the dress on all night and helps Blair score some buyers for her line.

In Part 1 of their plan, Blair calls Lily and tells her that Serena is moving too fast and making a bad decision. Lily listens to Blair and agrees, later telling Steven that she doesn’t think her daughter is ready to get married.

Plan 2 of the plan is all Sage and involves sending Serena a text from her dad’s phone to uninvited Serena to Cotillion and then sending her dad to re-size one of her rings, resulting in a Gossip Girl post showing a picture of Steven returning a ring to Harry Winston.

Knowing that Chuck can’t be seen in public with Blair, Dan offers to be her escort to cotillion.

At the event, Georgina is furious with her partner in crime. Dan published a chapter about Chuck, but it actually makes him look like the good guy in his quest to take down his father. Still, there isn’t enough dirt for Dan’s number one fan. Georgina wants to see the Blair chapter now before Dan attempts to get back with Blair and decides to not publish an expose. Dan tells Georgina to not worry about it, but Georgina is worried and plays her final hand. She shows Dan the copy of the sex tape Serena made of them and threatens to make it public if Dan doesn’t publish a juicy chapter on Blair.

Sage overhears the conversation and bumps into Georgina, expertly stealing her phone with the video like she’s Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York.

Bart confronts Lily about Chuck being in the apartment and tells her that he caught their housekeeper’s daughter cleaning up. That’s when Lily clues in realizing that Ivy is working with Chuck.

Even though she thinks she was uninvited, Serena shows up at Cotillion. Finally acting like an adult, Blair decides to come clean to Serena about her and Sage meddling in Serena’s proposal and admits she’s just trying to keep the spotlight on her dress for a night in order to keep the Waldorf fashion line alive. Serena is relieved, admitting that she wanted to call Blair as soon she saw the ring. Blair tells Serena that Sage has come up with a plan of her own and is worried that Sage is going to do something unforgivable, giving Serena a head start to stop the plan.

Serena quickly finds Steven and confirms that he still wants to marry her, which he does. Well, for the next five minutes.

It’s time for Sage to debut Blair’s dress, but the fun doesn’t stop there. It’s also time to debut S & D in NYC.

Disgusted with Serena, Steven runs off, calling her five minutes later and taking back the proposal he never actually made.

On the other side of the room, Blair is busy slapping Dan for cheating on her with Serena. Dan argues that he was manipulated by Serena and that Blair had already chose Chuck, but Blair still gets a few slaps in for old times sake.

Blair then moves her rage train towards Serena and tells her former bestie that they will never be friends again. Fair enough.

Realizing that it was Sage who stole her phone, Georgina approaches the debutante to get her hardware back and pass on her kudos for evilness. Seeing what Sage is really like, Nate finally breaks up with the child.

Turning into pumpkins at the ball after their sex tape was played, Dan and Serena decide to drown their sorrows in burgers and milkshakes. Hmmmm. Could Lily be right? Will these two finally get together for good?

Blair goes to Chuck to look for comfort after finding out that her boyfriend and bestie slept together, but she’s met with more bad news when Chuck admits that Lily helping him didn’t happen, putting him and their relationship status at zero. Blair’s night gets a silver lining when she learns that Sage’s dress is being bought by department stores, but her celebration doesn’t last long. Eleanor is coming home and she’s not happy.

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