August 27th, 2014
STOP THE PRESSES: HELLO KITTY IS NOT ACTUALLY A KITTY.
In an article published in the Los Angeles Times today, it was revealed that the beloved Japanese cartoon Hello Kitty is actually a human girl.
Anthropologist Christine R. Yano, who is currently putting together a retrospective in Los Angeles says that she was corrected by Sanrio, the creators of Hello Kitty: “That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”
What. The. Actual. F–k. We’re in shock. What do you mean she’s not a cat? But seriously, upon reflecting, we came up with some pretty serious questions that we need answers for. ASAP.
1. Why is her name Hello KITTY then?
2. Why does she have whiskers?
3. Why does her cat Charmmy Kitty look exactly like her?
4. Which of her friends are human and which ones are animals?
5. How is this Sanrio character a rabbit…
6. AND HOW IS THIS HUMAN?
7. Is this a human then?
8. And most importantly…is Avril Lavigne secretly Hello Kitty?