July 11th, 2014
We know there are many die-hard campers out there who love waking up with a $300 nylon sheet between them and the great outdoors. They find joy in rising each morning to find all their belongings wet, even if it didn’t rain the night before. And they bask in popping a squat over a makeshift toilet-hole.
To those people we say ‘good for you!’ as well as ‘heck no we don’t want to come next time!’. We know we’re not alone in our overall icky feeling towards camping. Jimmy Fallon made #UnhappyCamper a hashtag on his show this week and it started trending worldwide in 20 minutes. Twenty minutes. That’s a lot of dewy sleeping bags.
As if our personal experiences with attempting to be pleasant to our friends after sleeping with a rock lodged in our back for three days wasn’t enough to make us dislike the great outdoors, movies, our faithful buddies that don’t ask us to go camping, have always been good at reiterating why we should stay urban.
The trailer for the film adaptation of Cheryl Strayed’s autobiography Wild was just released, and while we’re impressed by anyone who can hike 1,000 and camp alone, we know we’re not that person.
Into the Wild
In a similar vein, Into the Wild, the true story of Christopher McCandless, does not make us want to strap on some hiking boots and head out into the wilderness. At all.
If camping means my boyfriend may end up with a chainsaw for a hand, then I don’t want any part of it.
The Blair Witch Project
Thanks for the snotty, childhood nightmares, Blair Witch.
Friday The 13th
NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IN THIS MOVIE.
Sure, going to camp could result in a month full of fun memories and new friends, or you could find your long lost twin and get stuck spending all your free time trying to scheme a way to get your parents back together. Ugh, what happened to relaxing in the summer?
In Heavy Weights, camping involves Ben Stiller yelling at kids every day while wearing spandex. I do not want to go to there.Tweet