Homeboy Wore Combat Boots To The Beach…

August 28th, 2007

…and that, my friends, has to be the best line that came out of last night’s show! Who would’ve thought that Lauren Conrad is actually funny? I harp on her because besides her lowly pout, the only time we ever see an ounce of personality shine through is when she talks about Heidi or Spence. Why is it that I find it hard to believe that LC and a personality can actually co-exist? Moving on.

So on last night’s episode of The Hills Lauren, Audrina and the dirtbag known as Justin Bobby (or JB for his homies) attend Brody Jenner‘s BBQ Beach Bash sans Spencer Pratt. Drama? You know it…

When Spence bails on Brody (a la Heidi styles) to go visit Ms. Montag’s (a.k.a. future Mrs. Pratt) family in Crestview, Colarado, Mr. Jenner blows up at his ‘partner’ in crime. Will Brody survive this party alone without his blonde, bug-eyed Cabbage patch dolled friend?

Errr, kind of…while Speidi meet the parents (we’ll get to this goody in a wee bit), LC tackles Jenner (obviously letting out some past aggression) in a friendly game of football and somehow manages to break Brody’s finger! OH EMM GEEEE!!

What’s a pretty boy to do with a leg of an armcast messing up his game? Rekindle with an old flame over his soon to be ex-best friend’s lack of friendship, duh! Could this be the beginning of the end?

OK, now let’s get back to the good stuff – SPEIDI! First off, if you propose to a girl why are you so hesitant to break plans and meet the parents? Because you’re Spencer Pratt.

Secondly, I had no idea that Heidi came from such a ‘humble’ background. Judging by her shopping habits, the men that she dates, and the people she surrounds herself with, you would’ve thought she was born a L.A. Princess. She certainly had me fooled. And hello, I’m surprised that her parents are actually good parents and by that I mean, they question the relationship she’s in and why she’s lost all of her friends…

I’m so used to the Laguna parents caring more about their appearance on the show than their own children. So, seeing parents actually parent their child is kind of refreshing. Kudos to the Montags!

And lastly, let’s discuss Spencer’s re-enactment of why Heidi and Lauren’s relationship fell apart – “I WANT HEIDI TO MYSELF” – Psychotic? Perhaps. On the verge of a mental breakdown? Maybe. Ready to commit mass murder? Definitely.

So that pretty much sums up this episode of The Hills… Oh wait, how could I forget about the darling Justin Bobby ditching Audrina at the beach party for another skanky ho. The fact that JB manages to pick up while sporting commando boots and short shorts is, well, surprising! Actually, I would have to say it is rather impressive. Perhaps, behind that layer of filth and dirt must lie some sort of charm, right? Yeah, I don’t even know why I even gave him a chance…

Oh and I forgot to mention that Lauren shed a tear, well a few, for Heidi. There were definitely a few ‘awwww’ moments during that scene but me thinks there won’t be a reunion anytime soon…

Well kids, in the words of the oh-so wise Brody Jenner – ‘time to get your fitness on.’ Seriously, get to it. Until next time.

Photograph Courtesy Getty Images

Posted on Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 at 11:47 am by Jen and is filed under Celebrities & Pop Culture.