Bring on the LOLZ
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August 25th, 2010
When we last left our heavily endowed hero he was torn between taking Lily Moran or Jenny Swanson to the Winter Formal. Then he learned to be careful what he wished for as a bus came and knocked Lily over.
And here we are at the Winter Formal and the season one finale of The Hard Times of R.J. Berger! Check out the video online and an exclusive episode gallery!
R.J. is crying by Lily’s bedside in the hospital as Miles comes in with an important announcement: she ain’t going anywhere, so go to the dance with Jenny! Duh!
R.J. is determined to do the right thing decides to stay by Lily’s side. He promised he was going to spend the entire night with her and that’s exactly what he intends to do.
Enter Ms. Moran. Also distraught with grief she is determined to stay by Lily’s bedside. She tells R.J. how much this night meant to Lily since she was going to spend it with him and how she would probably not want him to waste it here in the hospital.
Off he goes to look sharp for his date. Miles convinces the bus driver that hit Lily to drive them around in style in a hummer! First stop: Jenny Swanson’s house. After Jenny’s parents laugh at her choice, it’s out the door and into the hummer!
Second stop: Robin Pretnar’s house. Miles stands in the doorway amazed at her beauty…and Robin laughs and laughs in his face! She says she was being sarcastic when she said ‘yes’ and is going to the dance with Jenny’s ex Max Owens. This is bad enough with Max and Robin laughing at him but her parents chime in too. Snap! It definitely sucks to be Miles tonight!
Jenny’s pissed Max is with Robin. R.J.’s pissed he’s not with Lily at the hospital. Miles is pissed he’s dateless. Max is pissed Jenny’s with R.J. Pinkerton High’s Winter Formal does not look like it’s going to end well!
Miles gets drunk and cusses off Robin and Max. R.J. finally gets the girl of his dreams to make out with him but turns her down mid-kiss. He can’t take the guilt of leaving Lily alone. Jenny understands and says that’s why she likes him – he’s not like other guys. R.J. leaves the dance to be with Lily but he has one more obstacle to face: Max Owens.
Max confronts him but R.J. holds his own. Just as it’s about to come to a smack-down Miles saves the day, tackles Max and gives him a new case of blue balls!
R.J. arrives at the hospital and finds Lily conscious and happy to see that he’s back with her. She doesn’t want to waste the night and offers to keep their deal: they’ll both lose their virginity right then and there.
And boy, do they ever! The most disturbing sex scene ever made takes place between Lily and R.J. as they make good on their agreement. Lily’s heart-rate monitor goes through a marathon beeping faster and faster…and then they’re done. Lily, still breathless from the sex, thanks R.J. for making her the happiest girl in the world.
As R.J. leaves for the night he doesn’t hear the heart-rate monitor flat-lining or notice the night-time hospital staff running around wildly heading to Lily’s room.
Looks like R.J. rocked her world a little too hard. But what a way to go!
Can’t wait to see how R.J. deals with this news in Season 2!