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How to brand Canadian city condoms

May 7th, 2014

CN Tower main

Condoms are a key factor in keeping babies and STIs at bay. In celebration of World Pride happening in Toronto next month, the city has announced it will be revealing a municipally-branded condom. But why should the T-Dot be the only city to get their own special boner balloons? We came up a few other branded condoms we think should be coming to a city near you. And don’t forget to pinch the reservoir tip!

Forget what Shenae Grimes said about Hamilton… When you buy a box of Hammers at the drugstore, you will feel nothing but Steel town pride.

Vancouver! Don’t be a ding–dong! Cover your hippy dong with a big blunt.

If you’re ever in Quebec City for the Winter Carnival, be sure to snuggle up with a Bonhomme bag.

St. John’s, before you bang, cover your wang with a Rock rubber.

Calgary, remember to wrap your meat so you don’t taint your Beef.

If you’re ever getting busy in Nunavut in December, you better wear a sweater on your member.

beaver tail
And Ottawa before the affection, cover your erection with a Beaver Tail – available on the Hill at the House of Condoms.

There you have it, wiener socks that rep your hometown! So hump with pride and remember: no glove, no love.

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