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HT Episode 1: Lily Needs Berger-Man-Juice, Stat!

March 29th, 2011

A bus may have licked her down, but it sure as hell didn’t break Lily’s sex drive. She’s a survivor, that one. She can’t eat solid foods so she’s after R.J.’s man juice as a supplement. And that’s just the beginning of the new season of The Hard Times of R.J. Berger!

Missed it? It was FREAKING awesome! Watch it online HERE!

So peeps are all back at Pinkerton with raging hormones still….er….raging. Miles is basking in his new found glory as “the-guy-who-beat-Max-Owens-balls”. That is, until Max dons a sumo suit and beats the crap out of Miles.

But it’s for charity, so Miles takes one for the team. Problem – Max is out to pummel his balls some more. And R.J.’s. So it’s not over yet.

The charity in question is raising funds to repair the bus that almost killed Lily (the coach thought she was dead…). Since no one at Pinkerton gives a crap about lil’ Lily, R.J. holds his own money-maker to help his friend pay for her meds.

The sad thing is, nice guys like that really do finish last. Lily now thinks R.J. is her man. But Jenny also feels the R.J. fever with this new found fundraiser.

Plus, Max still has a hard-on for Jenny, so she’s using R.J. for some wicked jealous make-out sessions too.

It would be win-win except R.J. can’t continue to lead Lily on. But that’s not the worst of his probs – Jenny doesn’t know R.J. lost his V-card to Lily….and Lily doesn’t know she flat-lined when he did.

Maybe there’s a reason nice guys finish last……

In the end, R.J. takes his shot with Jenny and ends things with Lily. Instead of crying softly into the shadows (every guys dream when he has to have this convo) she goes ballistic on her crutches and tries to destroy the school, giving R.J. a good “crutch-to-the-head” in the process.

And it should be alls well that ends well except that R.J., committed to founding a relationship that can stand the test of time, gets news his parents are separating.

KO. And we’re out.

Next episode, Jersey Shore’s Vinny guest stars, and R.J. gets new initials – G.T.L.

Don’t miss any new episodes of the new season of The Hard Times of R.J. Berger Mondays @ 10PM ET on MuchMusic!

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