I Am Sooooo Happy For My 12yr Old Self

August 16th, 2004

Do you remember the first musical crush you ever had? The first poster that went on your wall? The day you got your favourite band’s latest record and how it never left your sweaty grasp for months, years?

My first love was Duran Duran. I was obsessed!! Records, posters, t-shirts, earrings, concerts, intense (well, for an 11 yr old) fantasies about John Taylor and of course, fan fiction. Ya, before the internet, fan fiction, for me at least, consisted of a notebook, a pen and a thousand pre-pubescent scenarios in which I was a Duran Duran girlfriend. And the greatest was that I could share this insanity with my girlfriends who had the exact same feelings.

We each took a member of the band as one of our “boyfriends” and deliciously whiled away hours of our time just imagining what it would be like to hang with the band, actually writing these stories down and then reading them aloud to each other later. I imagined living in New York City, in a fancy loft with John Taylor. Oh, how that makes me laugh now.

These were great days. There’s something so intense about your first musical crush, especially at that age.

At the time I hoped that one day I could meet them…maybe even if I could work at MuchMusic, then that might be my chance to cross paths with my future husband John.

And don’t think that since the day I started working here that I didn’t think about those pre-teen dreams. Wouldn’t it be the greatest if somehow, someday, Duran Duran would come into Much and I could meet them?

Honestly, in my line of work (and even outside of it) I’ve had the opportunity to meet bands I adore and bands I don’t care about either way, but are lovely nonetheless. But I’ve never really *wanted* to meet artists that I like. I often shy away from those situations, not just because I’m shy, but because it’s just not my thing. Like, what are you supposed to say to them? You might have a deep connection to their music, but they don’t know you from the thousand other people who also feel the same way. What’s a handshake gonna do anyway? In my opinion, it’s not likely to hold a candle to what you get from listening to their album.

Even when a band comes in to Much that I really like, I’d rather not go take their photo for the site, or something work-related like that. I just really enjoy their record, hope to see them play live when I can and that’s the extent of my fan behaviour. Boring for some, but that’s just me.

And so…I’ve loved tons of bands since and will love tons of bands in the future. There’s probably even artists that I’ve loved (will love) more than Duran Duran. But nothing can beat that first crush. I know some of you know exactly what I mean.

On Saturday night I got to fulfill the Duran Duran fantasy. Very lucky girl that I am, I was able to attend a very small party/meet & greet with the band…and it was so amazing to just live in that moment. They were all very kind, Simon flirtatious & charming, Roger so considerate and friendly (inviting us to sit with him and partake in the food & drinks that had been laid out for the band) and John. Oh John. Just getting to chat with him for a few minutes was incredibly surreal. Even in the photo that was taken of us, if you can see my expression, you know exactly what I was thinking: “Holy F***! I’m f******* hanging out with John Taylor!”

Normally for me, this much enthusiasm and giddiness, especially for a celebrity of all things (!) would make me cringe — but this was my “one band I have to meet”.

I am sooooo happy for my 12 yr old self. I wish that I could go back in time, to my old basement, while I was lying on the floor listening to Seven and The Ragged Tiger, imagining my life with John and tell myself, “Someday you will get to meet them!”

Posted on Monday, August 16th, 2004 at 6:28 pm by Sophia and is filed under Blog.

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