I Don’t Shoot The Humans

June 24th, 2004

so the big show has come and gone. i know you kids are probably stuffing your faces with cheese twists, watching the show and wondering “wow, who is the guy that shoots the building?” – well, that’s me. i like to consider myself an architectural specialist shooter. i don’t shoot the humans, only inanimate objects – there will be more on this in the future. for now my mission is to let you in on what goes on at the after party. i can’t speak for everyone so i’ll just tell my own story:

as soon as i was allowed off the roof of the building across the street and completed my post-show tasks it was off to the secret location after party, where it’s like heaven and they serve drinks till 4am.

first, some highlights / lowlights from past after parties include having to lock myself in a bathroom stall with britney spears’ male dancers banging on the door trying to get in. highlight or lowlight – you decide, lowlight from my perspective. someone (i can’t remember who) whipping a plastic yellow hard hat and almost taking out treble charger. there’s other stuff but it will either get censored by those goose steppers over in team digital or i just can’t remember.

this year as soon as i walked through the door i let out a brian johnson ac/dc yell and headed for the bar. hawksley workman handed me a gin and tonic but i don’t drink that so i handed it to someone else, diana ross maybe? i’m not trying to name drop, i don’t know mr. workman, he seemed upset with the drink and the bartender and just wanted it out of his sight. there was a line up to get to the upper floors so we thought “wow, imagine what’s going on up there if all these people are lining up to get up there”. we got up and the same stuff was going on up there that was going on downstairs. the music was pretty good and i said “i wish they would play some ac/dc” and then like a magical unicorn dancing on a cloud made of marshmallows (is it mallows or mellows?) my wish came true and the next 2 songs were by those crazy bastards.
manny and i were buying rounds and it was manny’s turn to get the drinks and just as my supply was running low manny was nowhere to be found. i was starting to question the integrity of my friend when like a glorious whirlwind of hydro electricity manny stepped out of the hallway with his arms full of drinks, even better quality than my round. he mumbled something about vivica a. fox and grinned like the cheshire cat.
the old rap started playing so a circle got formed and there was dancing, i myself like to dance vertically because it comes in handy when you’re in a crowded bar. someone asked me to do the worm so i did but for some reason i had no forward momentum so it was a stationary worm which confused me. i didn’t know how to get out of it so i did a backspin into a penthouse pose and that seemed to satisfy the worm thirsty crowd. after that i needed some water, so i had some. then howard the duck bought me a drink and then i went home. it was fun. the end.
p.s. – send cookies

Posted on Thursday, June 24th, 2004 at 1:59 pm by Fetus and is filed under Blog.