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Is Vin Diesel Gay?

May 21st, 2004

so my friend morgen is dating this guy named kevin, and kevin has a personal trainer, and the other day kevin and his personal trainer worked out with vin diesel. i guess vin is in toronto but lost my number. jerk.

i first fell in love with vin around the time that the fast and the furious came out on dvd. i had just got my dvd player and i held the first annual vin diesel film festival in my living room. just me and vin. vin diesel film festivals are best done solo. i know it’s cheesy to have a crush on vin diesel and he’s the sort of guy that tarty girls with implants and old secretary ladies have a crush on, but i can’t help it. i think he’s hot and i don’t care who knows.

anyway, at my film festival i watched every vin diesel movie available including his first movie which he directed himself called multi facial. it’s not really much of a movie, but more of an audition piece about him as a struggling actor trying to find work. anyway i was watching a scene in the movie where he was in a tank top, drinking bottled water walking around chelsea — and a lightbulb went on. i decided that he was gay. i know he’s not gay, but i just liked the idea of it. call it wishful thinking.

so after that i may have told a few people that i thought vin diesel was gay. i tend to do things like this. next thing i know a few weeks later, some gay guy comes up to me to tell me that HE had heard that vin diesel was gay! i realized that i had inadvertently spread a rumour about my beloved vin and it was moving around like wildfire! but it was a rumour that i hoped was true so i didn’t bother to correct anyone. i knew it had gone too far a month later when i saw the Enquirer headline “Is Vin Diesel Gay?”. oops! sorry vin! he must be so mad at me. the best part of fighting with vin is making up.

ok back to present day…  when kevin told me that he had spent the afternoon at the gym with vin, i had some questions for him — and now i will share the gossip with you… 

it turns out that the gym they were using has private showers, so kevin didn’t have an answer to my first question.   :( 
but when i asked my second question, “is vin gay?” kevin said that he is definitely straight. totally heterosexual.
our love has been denied. oh well.

so to everyone who heard the vin diesel gay rumour, sorry about that. my bad.

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