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It’s true, Jenn, that I loves the heavy. Metal that is. But I like to think that, due to my somewhat unorthodox upbringing as a member of a traveling circus, I’m a fan of all types of music. Allow me to explain.

My musical odyssey began at an early age when the lion midwife, Filbert, introduced me to the magical triumvirate of Rick Astley, Billy Ocean and Fine Young Cannibals. It was an epiphany: the voices in my head had gotten out of my dreams and into my car, or something.

Emboldened by elephant tranquilizers, I made it my mission to seek and destroy the barrier between me and my musical destiny. I began collecting all the “cassettes” (ancient analogue recording media) I could get my hands on, hoping one day to amass a sufficient amount to build a footbridge to Europe.

And one day, in the summer of 1987, I happened upon (literally, when the Lipizzaner I was riding bareback tripped on it) one record that would change my life: KISS’ Crazy Nights album. Mr. Malaka, the human cannonball, warned me sternly that I should never play it at too high a volume lest the Dark Lord Himself be summoned. “After all,” he said gravely, “KISS stands for ‘Knights In Satan’s Service’…” And then he threw his head back and laughed maniacally and my blood ran cold.

I summoned all my strength. “No!”, I yelled, throwing caution, and my clothes, to the wind. “I love it loud!” And I proceeded to crank it. To 11, mind you.

And that, dear readers, is the story of my life, slightly abridged.

Talking about turning it up to 11, I had a listen to some of Matt’s band’s tracks, and they “Bring It”, if you know what I mean. What do you say, Matt?

Posted on Monday, March 17th, 2003 at 2:20 pm by Justin and is filed under Blog.

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