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Jenn, sugar-coated marshmallows make me go pukers. I’d rather have Mini Eggs any day. All chocolatey inside, with a pleasant pastel-coloured candy shell – you just can’t go wrong. Mmmmmmm. I’m gonna get some now…………ok, back.

Now then, speaking of eggs, I’m reminded of the time when I and my trusty valet Damphousse (In English: Dumpus) went searching for the nesting ground of the elusive Great Horned Mastodon Of Manchester…

We set out one late September evening in my custom-made all-terrain vehicle shaped like a hot dog (for aerodynamic effect as well as it being generally cool) and we made rapid progress.

Through a combination of Dumpus’ keen sense of smell and a stop at the local watering hole where we wet our whistles, we found ourselves at the entrance to the beast’s lair. All was still. Even the birds didn’t sing for fear of the monster’s wrath.

“Dumpus,” I hissed, “you go in first!” Fear glistening in his eyes, he opened his mouth to protest. A passing dragonfly flew in. With new resolve, he swallowed his fear (and the dragonfly), stepped over the skeletons of valets who had come before him and entered the thicket surrounding the nest. He was armed only with dental floss.

And that was the last time I saw that brave soul; there was a muffled gurgle, a pop and then… I turned on my heel and darted, arms aflutter in a bird-like fashion, back to the Wienermobile.

Later, speeding back towards London, I resolved never to go mastodon-egg hunting again.

Hey, I’m wondering…we both play drums…so…Matt, do you like eggs too?

Posted on Friday, April 4th, 2003 at 3:43 pm by Justin and is filed under Blog.

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