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October 16th, 2013
Justin Bieber released his new music video for All That Matters today, a quick video shot at the Great Wall of China (which kinda explains those pics of him being carried around by his bodyguards). The clip has since been praised by the Chinese embassy for drawing attention to tourism in China so, uh, that’s great.
The clip does show the pop star strutting on the grounds of the famous landmark almost obnoxiously as he harasses a female passerby and even moonwalks on the wall. But, alas, the Chinese embassy is cool with this and it ultimately brings in the dollar signs, tourism-wise. I guess there really isn’t such thing as bad publicity.
Take a look at Justin’s video for All That Matters below.
BUT OH WAIT, there is someone making China look bad right now. Meet Alison Gold, the new Rebecca Black, but more ignorant and racist. From the same people who gave us Black’s mega-YouTube hit Friday, Gold’s song Chinese Food follows the same (lack of) song structure and repetitive lyrics to drill the worst song ever into your head.
Here, watch the video below.
See how Justin’s video wasn’t so bad after all? In fact, Justin’s video was a great tourism video compared to this.
I don’t even know where to begin with Gold’s Chinese Food other than this:
Here are just five of the bajillion reasons why this is the worst:
1. This entire song is just a terrible stereotype.
Yes, let’s condense an entire culture into a short, shitty list of foods that you probably listed off the top of your head. We are nothing more than fried rice and chow mein to you, Alison Gold, and you have just offended one of the biggest ethnic groups in the world. Can we ban this girl from Chinese restaurants for life?
2. Okay, I take it back, Justin Bieber’s harassment of an Asian girl at the Great Wall of China wasn’t so bad after all. This little girl who’s running the Chinese restaurant is much worse.
I can’t. [Refer to angry Leslie Knope face above.]
3. There is a distinct difference between terrible, Americanized Chinese food and actual Chinese food.
This is the former. Please remember that.
4. Get your Asian stereotypes right, girl.
The ambiguous Asian costume near the end has been argued to be either Chinese or Japanese, but let’s face it, the production team probably got it at a costume shop and that is most definitely racist.
5. GUYS, WTF IS GOING ON WITH THE PANDA PLOT IN THIS VIDEO?
Bonus: There is no way this girl is old enough to go out “clubbing” as she says at the beginningTweet