Lea Michele terrifies Newsstands, no fault of her own

September 1st, 2010

Alright, peeps. This photoshop bissnazz is officially 100% out of control. I realize that this statement is as obvious as me saying that water is wet, but the dangers of Photoshopping are still alive and kicking. Therefore, our stance against freaky-photos must be alive and kicking as well, except we’ll all be kicking with feet that are actually ours and in proportion to our non-airbrushed bods.

Glee star Lea Michele is the latest celeb to fall victim to some srsly effed airbrushing. Case in point: this monstrosity that is supposed to depict the singer/actor’s beautiful face.

Apparently Photoshop has a WTF setting, because srsly, WTF? This is what Lea Michele actually looks like.

Again, this is what Glamour has done to her.

And this is what Matt Groening has done to her.

Okay, I just threw the last one in because it’s cool, but it also makes a point. Simpson-Lea is yellow, has four fingers and never changes outfits and STILL looks more like Lea Michele that whoeverthehellthatis on the cover of Glamour.

Britney Spears, who will be joining Michele on the second season of Glee this fall, has also come under the Photoshop knife recently. Spears’ cover of Cosmo during their spring release terrified frequenters of grocery stores, doctors’ offices and convenience stores for a full month.

Where is her neck? Why is her head almost as wide as her torso? This picture is a like a bad car crash that I can’t seem to look away from.

Britney’s awful chop-job is an even bigger slap in the fake face, considering Spears’ anti-photoshop statement made earlier this year. Spears got the respect of feminists worldwide when she released a side-by-side comparison of her untouched image next to the Photoshop picture used for her Candies ad. Clearly evident in the side-by-side images, celebs that do fit the mold for what North American society has deemed beautiful are still subject to having their thighs, among other body parts and facial signatures, removed.

E! reality star Kourtney Kardashian lashed out at OK Magazine for publishing a fake interview with the new mom that included a Photoshopped image of Kardashian looking slim and trim while holding her newborn son, Mason. The mag claimed that Kardashian only gained 26 lbs during her pregnancy, when in fact Kourtney gained over 40 lbs and was still carrying around much of her baby weight when the magazine cover went to print.

Sex and The City 2 made waves before the film was even released when this monstrosity of a movie poster was released.

Apparently the design team behind the poster has the same WTF Photoshop function that Glamour magazine used with Lea Michele’s cover. Where do I even start? From Sarah Jessica Parker’s cat eyes and missing left leg, Kim Cattrall’s gaunt face and oddly long elbow, Kristin Davis’s extra cup sizes and Cynthia Nixon’s missing curves, this movie poster is almost comical. Almost, because it’s being passed off as realistic.

The airbushed craze has reached such heights that last week it was rumoured that Kimora Lee Simmon’s departure from her position at the head of her clothing line Baby Phat was over the high costs of manipulating the images of Simmons in the company’s print ads. Whether or not these rumours have any merit is up for debate, but what isn’t is the fact that Simmons, a former model, has clearly not embraced her post-runway body and continues to airbrush herself almost out of existence.

Celebs like Kardashian and Spears are doing their part to stop the propaganda of unrealistic beauty ideals. Jessica Simpson, an artist that has been praised and crucified for her fluctuating weight, is using only friends and family members as the models for the fall runway show for her fashion line. This move towards a more realistic fashion industry is in addition to Simpson’s hosting duties on her show Price of Beauty, which follows Simpson and her two best friends around the world as they interview women about the different beauty practices and expectations in their own culture. Even with all her hard work, Simpson still falls victim to the old airbrush. Isn’t that right, Lucky magazine? Or should I say, No-Waist magazine?

So remember, readers. Next time you look at a picture of a celeb or model, remember the magic of the airbrush. All that glitters isn’t gold, just as all who have no body fat probably eat.

Tags: Britney Speas, Cynthia Nixon, Glee, Jessica Simpson, Kim Cattrall, Kimora Lee Simmons, Kourtney Kardashian, Kristin Davis, Lea Michele, Price of Beauty, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex And The City 2