Lindsay Fans/Haters, Let’s All Calm Down

May 11th, 2009

lindsaypreggo

Most of the time, teh internets can be a handy place to find information. You can learn about what foods your dog Sparkle can’t eat, how many movies Johnny Depp has been hot in (answer: all of them), and whether a wolf can beat up a lion in a fight to the death.

But there are two kinds of info out there, my young caterpillar tractors, and some of it is WRONG.

Take this one: today the interwebs are reporting that Lindsay Lohan is pregnant. Here’s why I find this hilarious:

#1: Lilo and Sam Ronson have only been split up since April 6th (or thereabouts). Even if she’s been on the rebound sleeping with dudes in the meanwhile, that’s only five weeks. 35 days. A lady can’t even find out if she’s preggers in that short a time, never mind that it’d take her tummy a LOT longer to start getting bigger than that: wikipedia will tell you so.

#2: The picture shown above (and in the ONTD article) is a promo shot from Labour Pains, a TV comedy Linds was going to be/is filming/will make in the future. It was clearly labeled (okay, in tiny print) as such. but everyone is still freaking out all over this (and other) comment page telling her not to abort the baby, or being all shocked that Lindsay can even conceive since she’s so skinny, etc etc.

#3: I love when stories like this come from an anonymous “source”, or “a friend”. The friend in this article “swears” that Lindsay is “carrying”. Presumably Sourcey means a baby, but you never know, s/he could have been talking about shopping bags or a rocket launch (you can abort those), and it all got out of control. This is what you get from vague statements: unreliable, misquoted information.

Odds are I’m right about this (If I’m not I’ll print out this article and eat my words). But what do you think? Is there any chance this could be the truth? Do you think Lindsay could even handle a baby, or is she still too much of a child herself? Do you think the world could handle the on-coming tsunami of paparazzi coverage if she really WAS pregnant? Do you think it’s all a hoax to get Sam to call her?

Are you even going to take five minutes away from counting your Smarties to pretend to care?

Tags: insanity, lindsay lohan, oh hai internets