LOST: The End is Near! (Again, As Usual)

May 13th, 2009

Locke: Hey, is that a submarine?

For those of you who are going to super-glue yourselves to your chairs for two hours tonight and prop open your eyes à la Clockwork Orange to make sure nothing or no one keeps you from missing a second of LOST‘s two-part season finale “The Incident”, well, you’re crazy. That’s way too excessive, and I’m ashamed to know you.

While you’re frozen in place for two hours, unable to even get away to use the washroom, I’m gonna be sitting comfy on my couch with a big old bowl of popcorn, watching as the madness known as the end of season five unfolds.

Here’s my list of stuff that I hope gets revealed/happens in some capacity tonight, but probably won’t. If you want, you can add your own items, and then tomorrow we can all meet back here and talk about how scared for life we are now (until season six). ‘Kay?

1) Where is Claire? What has she been doing being disappeared this whole time?
2) What the hell is up with Christian Sheppard? Is he dead/alive/a ghost/Jacob?
2.5) Who is Jacob anyway? All-powerful or impotent? In charge or just another puppet?
3) Is it not significant that Aaron, Walt, and Desmond are no longer on the island?
4) Where the heck do those whispers come from anyway?
5) WHY does EVERYONE on this show have daddy issues? (sample list: Claire, Penny, Jack, Locke, Ben, Aaron, probably Boone, Daniel Faraday, Miles, Hurley, etc etc etc).
5.5) And what about mother issues? Why did Eloise Hawking send Faraday to the island to DIE?
6) If Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate have left the island, doesn’t that mean their time-lines are going to be SERIOUSLY messed up when they go back to the real world of 1977? Are they going to have to give birth to themselves? That could be really awkward… Or will they actually leave at all?
7) How come Charles Widmore’s ~~army of death~~ cronies could find the island, but he couldn’t?
8 ) Is detonating an H-Bomb really the best plan to fix things? How well has that ever worked in the past?
9) Showdowns I would like to see: Ben vs Locke, Kate vs Juliet (cat fight!), Sun vs Ben (which, come on, would be hilarious), Jack vs Christian Sheppard (Star Wars style).
10) How did The Black Rock get to the middle of the island, and why does nobody in the Dharma Initiative seem to know about it?

Tags: craziness!, LOST, theories